Widows & Widowers Support Group

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/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Where?

Truhal
Truhal
I've looked in stores, healthclubs, churches, even movie theaters. They used to be out walking around, hanging out, buying stuff--heck, whole industries were based on them. But now they're nowhere.

I first noticed the phenomena about twenty years ago. I was in my thirties then, but I notice a decline in the sighting of this elusive group. Didn't matter though. Not then. I simply hung out with others I could find. I was accepted, having the ability to blend in. Then I got married and we made couple -friends--you know, the ones you hang out with together but they disappear the minute you become a widow.

Which brings me back to.......
I lost my husband at 53. We had a happy marriage, but now that I'm alone I figure I'd get out there, go places, do things. I didn't want to date, just have some friends around my age. Simple you think. Only some things haven't changed.

I STILL CAN'T FIND THE BABY BOOMERS AND THEY SEEMED TO HAVE TAKEN GENERATION X WITH THEM.

Now, I'm the oldest person nearly everyplace I go.

Anyone else notice this?
dually
dually
I understand after 5 months now. No one is around, calls or comes over. How do you make new friends when you do not want to leave the house. How do you TRUST new friends.

I am sticking with pup and bird.

Peace to you
Dually
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
I know how hard it is to make new friends first hand, I am a shy person and difficult for me to trust people. My husband was an out-going person and easy to make friends. Fortunately my children are support, the few friends I have stuck with me, and I could have fun with the people from work. This may change when and if I retire from work. What I miss most is the love and companionship of my husband, some one to talk to. I have not try making new friends and no desire to date. Wish you peace.
nowjustme
nowjustme
Yes, I feel so alone now. Everyone is a couple or younger in age.

Please join our Pen pal group (its in the Friendship..? post)
It gives us a friend to talk to. Everyone is welcome!
Hugs,
JoAnn
deleted_user
deleted_user
Truhal, I don't know what kind of cultural environment you live in, but where I am, we boomers are at plays, musical performances of all kinds, art fairs, farmers' markets. We are Master Gardeners, political volunteers, volunteers for food banks and all sorts of other needs. This may be because there is a university in the largest city and colleges all around the area. Listen to radio and watch papers and websites to follow what is happening. I guess you may have to expand to surrounding areas to find your tribe.

SallyMc
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, it does make a BIG difference where you live and what's available in your area.. I live in a town of 700 people with a large elderly, widowed population. I've lived in Colorado and loved all it had to offer; California (which you can have...), Indiana and then back to Iowa -- not knowing my husband would die a few months later. So here I am; no social activities -- I'm 68 BTW. Des Moines is 60 miles north and that's a long way to go to volunteer.. So, sometimes we have to adjust -- or move -- neither an option for me... So, I just grab every unsuspecting soul in Wal Mart and 'talk their leg off'... One day I expect to hear over the loud speaker -- "Crazy lady in aisle 3"........... I digress.
Truhal
Truhal
Sally, you've found them! I'm on my way!
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
I totally get what you're saying. I start by enjoying my own company. Then look at things I enjoy. Walking in a mall, having coffee at B&N with a book, watching friends bowl, and even sitting at the river with a hot dog. Smile and get out anywhere. The people are there someplace. And there are some looking for you. Sharon
deleted_user
deleted_user
Truhal, your post cracked me up! So well put. When Dan died I railed at God for making me a widow SO YOUNG. I found a support group for "young widows" online and thought "this is where I belong!" until I went to the website and found it was for widows 35 and under. I'm 60. What a shock. I had to laugh. Even here on DS, I am often one of the older posters. (With continued effort) I've come to realize that what actually makes a connection is common ground. Your instinct to actively seek out Boomers is a good one and I'm going to take some of Sally's suggestions as well. Thanks!
cadoggiemom
cadoggiemom
Truhal,
Think you're old? Come to NJ and hang with me. I'm 72 and will make you feel like a teenager!
I do agree with the suggestion to do some volunteering. My home county has a volunteer bureau that lists all of the area non-profits that utilize volunteers.....and there is something for everyone. Pick a cause that resonates with you, and you will find like-minded people of various ages volunteering there.
Nicker07
Nicker07
Oh how funny Truhal.....it is funny if you are thinking of how you are writing this the way I am.

I just wish I could find that age group to find a good friend to do stuff with and smile and laugh and tell stories with.
Truhal
Truhal
It is funny, Nicker. Here we are the largest group in most of the world and I can't find 'em. I went to a club this weekend and was by far the oldest person there. I'd of been happy to find even a gen X. But nothing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally get it - have decided not to look any more - just to enjoy who the Lord puts in front of me everyday - sometimes its just family - sometimes its no one - that means I have to like my own company. Its a little disheartening but it reminds me of a saying my mother would say in spanish - Mas vale sola que mal acompanada - better to be alone that in bad company! Words of wisdom - thanks Mom! Hang in! Irene
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is one of my heart's greatest desires...a friend who can put up with a 48 yo widow with 2 tweenaged boys! Where, Oh Where, can that underdog be.....

And technically, I'm the missing generation--too "young" for Boomer, too "old" for Gen X. I guess that makes it even harder! ;)
Truhal
Truhal
Missing, you're a boomer or an X. Boomer generation is huge. If you were born between 1946 and 1964, you're a boomer. Otherwise, you're generation X. Now, that I've found one, maybe other's can be found. Maybe there's millions of boomers hiding out with Gen X just waiting to be found(lol).
deleted_user
deleted_user
Truhal --

I'm an X-er. However, I am in a very interesting predicament because I am also a wheel-chair bound paraplegic. So, I don't mix well with X-ers because they are still quite young and running around at speeds that I simply cannot keep up with. Keep your eyes peeled tho -- I know some women who are out there. My mom happens to be one.

Deb