No, it's hit me, each time I visited...

My husband was cremated so there is no grave site. I am waiting for his girls to visit (they live in England) to spread his ashes in a place he loved. I really don't feel anything about the ashes... that is not him... he is not there anymore. I would not want him to be in a box or in a grave... I like to think about him being somewhere much better.

I feel like Mannie123. I have my husband's ashes in the bedroom, but I don't feel a connection to the ashes. Someday I may bury them, or spread them, I haven't decided yet.
My husband's spirit is in heaven.
Our bodies are just a vessel. Our souls will be reunited someday.

I have my husband's ashes in the bedroom by the bed. I can touch the box and it gives me much comfort. Sometimes I just hold it and openly weep.

I am not sure what I want done when I go.....I have thought about the kids burying us behind the house I grew up in....no one can ever build there and it is shaded with trees.

I too had my husband cremated, his choice and I couldn't afford a full burial. I bought a beautiful Urn and asked the mortuary if they could make a plaque with his name and date of birth and death. They did and did a beautiful job. His plaque is like a good sized oval, silver with a beautiful silver /gray ribbon that holds it over the top and it hangs in front of the designs of the silver and blue Urn with birds flying, 2 are side by side. When I feel ready I will place him in a Column Buriam at a military cemetery. They will allow space for me to be added when the time comes.
I have as long as I want to wait until I feel ready to do.
I feel my husband's ashes are special to me. I put mementos with him to be cremated with him, like people put in coffins. So did my sis in law and my mom in law. Pics, special coins, a cross, wristbands made by my 7 year old niece, pic of his favorite horse and I put a lock of my hair in a ribbon. I also took a lock of his hair which I loved, for myself for my Urn.
I light a tea candle a few times a week beside his Urn, talk to him, say a prayer and put my hands around the very heavy Urn.
it is special for me to wake up and I see him first, our pic when we were married, a white Orchid, the candle an an American Flag for his 20 years of service in the Army, which the mortuary gave to me with a 13x20 picture of my husband I used in his Obituary column.
I don't want to drop his ashes anywhere because I know in time they will blow away and dissolve into the ground eventually.
It is all I have left of my dearest love besides material things.
It is special to me.

mu husbands wishes were not to be cremated, due to a horrific burn (over 50% of this body) that a brother suffered as a child and all the stress/grief thatss this caused his family so it is possible I will not feel anything at the gravesite since I didn't do the burial for me but for him. I'm not sure if it had truely been my choice, without that history, what I would have chose for him. I just wanted to honor his wishes. He would not even allow our pets to be cremated over the years, so there is no way I could have done that to him.

Understand Mary. The best we can do is honor our loved one's wishes to be interred as they may be. It's okay to feel or not to feel. No right or wrong. When hubby's ashes came home, I didn't feel anything either. I had already said my good-bye and knew he was no longer a part of this physical earth. Don't expect anything from self right now . . let it be, knowing that we all grieve in differing ways. Hugs, D

My husband was cremated too, by his request. I was afraid of the thought of cremation for many years, but now I too want cremation when the time comes. In the early times after his death the ashes gave me comfort, but as time passed I know he is more than the body that was scattered. Sharon

After she died, my wife's body was cremated, per her wishes. I have the ashes, with one of my favorite pictures of her, on a shelf in a niche in a room in the house. I don't pay too much attention to them, but it is kind of nice to have them there. Sometimes in the evening, I'll toast her with a glass of wine. She had a great sense of humor, and I'm sure she'd have appreciated this. The ashes never make me feel sad, it's the memories and contemplation of my loss that do.

I expect my kids to cremate me as well when I die.

But we all have to do what we think is in our best interests when it comes to things like this. You should not be upset or concerned that visits to your husbands grave site don't bring on a flood of grief. For you, the memories in your mind are more poignant.

My husband was created, he did not want to be buried, something he said again just a couple of days before he died, so I have no grave site to visit.
Instead I have a box with his ashes sitting on a shelf overlooking our livingroom area with the picture taken on his birthday three days before his death. There is a degree of comfort having him with us. The only change I want to make is to find a nice urn to be his resting place until I join him