There is no rule for the wedding ring you do what makes you feel comfortable. Some leave it on, others take it off, some put it on their right hand and some wear it around their neck. I chose to wear it on my Rt hand as a acknowledgement she has passed but also recognition that I still very much am committed to her in spirit. That was my choice. Choose what gives you peace. As for what the pastor said my response would be even in death my bond of love will never be broken. Gerald

JB; Yes it seems to be a tradition in some circles, but as I stated on another thread, An acquaintance a while ago said to me " I see your still wearing your wedding ring, when are you going to take it off? The answer was an easy one as it was the truth, I said "when Diane takes hers off, she took hers with her". that was the end of that conversation.
JB whatever you feel like doing with your wedding rings, you do. It's what ever your comfortable with. The tradition just indicates that your a widow, widower.
Regard, george

Thank you Gerald, I wasn't sure if this was a tradition or not. Your response to the pastor was right on the money, as it was so recent all I could do at the time was just nod and turn away.

It is absolutely up to what you feel right about. I still feel married to Chris so I still wear my rings and have no plans to stop wearing them. I wear my husband's ring on a necklace. I do not think there is a right answer here and the answer that feels right today may not feel right tomorrow. Even if you try not wearing it or wearing it on your right hand, you can change your mind and wear it again if you want. or wear it now and take it off later. or never stop wearing it...completely up to you. God bless.

You can wear your wedding ring on any finger you want and on either hand. It's about you right now and not about pleasing others and what they think. I wore my wedding ring set for over two years after my husband died. I didn't care what the legal status was I felt married and unless it was a legal form I completed it according to my feelings. A lot of people may express their opinion and the majority have not experienced the loss we are working through.

Don't let others, even innocently, make your healing harder for you. It's hard enough as it is. I'm sorry this has happened to you. It happens to most of us at some point. People basically mean to help, or I believe that, but that is why I have been here for so long. We need people who understand the importance of being able to breathe and get support in our loss. Sharon

There is no right or wrong, it's whatever works and is comfortable for you. All about taking care of the self now. Pastors don't always have the right words, in fact I've heard of some of these people being rather crude. I wasn't wearing my ring anyway as it needed to be resized years ago. I thought of wearing it on a chain. I take it out now and then and just hold it ... I believe that love transcends worlds, and we will see our loved ones again. They were surely a blessing to us in this world.

I don't ever plan on taking mine off my left ring finger. My husband picked out a new set for me for our 22nd anniversary. And I love it.

For our 25th wedding anniversary one month to the day before he died, he got me an emerald solitaire with a row of small diamonds on each side....looks kind of like an engagement ring for the right hand. When I mentioned that, he said it was because I am so engaged in life.

I cannot tell you how many times during these past three months that I have held onto that stone. Felt him reminding me that I am engaged in life....to not let go...to stay engaged. It has been a tremendous source of comfort. I cannot imagine removing THAT ring either.

I know women who have taken off the wedding sets immediately, and worn nothing. Many moved them to the right hand when they felf like they no longer had a husband. And were ready to try seeking out a new relationship. And I know women have had their diamonds taken out and made into a cocktail ring.

I think most men would not choose the cocktail ring approach, but then, what ever one is comfortable with, should certainly be ok!

What ever you choose is just fine....

Moving the rings to the right hand symbolizes that your spouse has "crossed over." It is not mandatory, the etiquette experts affirm that whatever you want to do with your rings is fine - including doing nothing with them if that is your choice.

Different people have different approaches and it is always highly personal to the individual. I had a special ring made, a family ring that matched the anniversary rings Cliff gave me, and I moved my wedding and engagement rings to my right hand and replaced them with the family ring on my left hand. The family ring has Cliff's birthstone in the middle, with our sons' birthstones on either side as well as mine. I had worn my rings for 3 decades, there was no way I was going to be comfortable with nothing on that hand. The family ring felt like the best way for me.

Cliff and I wore two wedding rings each, as we had reaffirmed and renewed our vows and exchanged second rings when we did that. The first ring he was buried with. The second rings I wear on a chain as a necklace -- he was such a big guy that my ring fits inside of his and it looks like a fancy circle pendant that way. There is a photo of my ring-necklace in my photos here in case anyone wants to see it.

JB, I think your pastor needs to spend some time being retrained on how to show compassion to the bereaved. I think it was callous of him to say that, especially so early in your grief. He must have never lost anyone himself. I am sorry he was so insensitive to you.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Not sure about the tradition thing but I still wear my rings on my left hand. I wear his band on his chain that hangs around my neck ALL the time. I really don't care what people think or take others advice unless from this group here, the ones who really know what I am going through. No one understands unless they have gone through it themselves. Whoever decides to be with me, if I ever let another person in, will have to accept EVERYTHING otherwise they don't need to be with me. Whatever you feel comfortable with is your choice and only yours.

I found that working with the public, if you wear your ring, people tend to ask nosey questions. Like what's your husband think of you working this kind of job, or, what ya'll got planned for holidays. Or, how long you been married. The world doesn't need to know that I am a widow!!!!.....

It is totally up to you what you do. A few months after my husband passed, i removed my engagement ring and wore only the wedding ring, both of them together was just too much and stared me in the face. After about 15 months I moved both rings to my right hand. I started dating someone shortly after that and we have been together for almost 3 years now. The rings stayed on my right hand until a couple months ago, when I just started to forget to put them on. To me, this is a sign that I am ready for a bigger step. Not that I am distancing myself from my late husband, but freeing myself to marry again.

My father-in-law stated that to me right after the funeral. The same day. I responded, til death do us part. It will be my death that I will stop being married to him!

Yes, it was traditional ...
It was taught in my area by Catholics - French settlers, Franciscan monks & missionaries ...
The wedding ring is moved to the right finger & is replaced w/a widow ring - an advance notice to everyone to be respectful ...
And for possible suitors to keep their distance till the ring was removed ...
I also was told it once was a tradition somewhere that the wedding ring was to be placed in the coffin w/the deceased spouse ...

I wore a widow ring w/a black diamond ...
A karat from my wedding will be given to each my daughter, son & granddaughter ...
The girls can use theirs for a custom made wedding ring ...
My son can also do the same for his future wife ...
Or they can make pendants or whatever ...
They like the idea since Bob & I had a good marriage - wild ride!
Now I'm thinking that maybe the reason I lost my widow ring was so that none of kids would receive it ...
I like that idea!

This is a personal decision only you can make ...
Do what is in your heart ...

I've only been without Tim for seven weeks and am still wearing my rings. I also wear his on my thumb. As he lost the use of his left side his hand and arm would swell. One time when he was in the hospital I made him take it off because I was afraid it would never come off if he didn't. He handed it to me and I stuck it on my thumb on my left hand and that's where it still is.

To me it seems the best way is the manner that feels right to you. When Johannah died I removed her ring and now I wear it on a chain around my neck along with a star of David she gave me. To me it seems the right thing to do. I wear her ring as close to my heart as possible but everyone has to do things the way that feels right to them. This is a very personal thing which should be left up to you and nobody else.