Hello, Praised -- I'll be thinking good wishes for you on April 28. I hope the day is in some way uplifting for you -- let us know. I'm in a similar position -- my 29th anniversary comes on May 26, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to curl up and cry all day either. Maybe a nature walk, or seeing a friend, or buying a small "gift" that reminds me of something good about us together.
Hugs, Alice

I just survived our 35th anniversary this past Monday the 21st. It had its moments as I knew he was planning a big trip for us and it was on the heel of Easter weekend. I am blessed though and thankful for my kids. I see their dad so much in different ways in each of them. They were all here with me that day, my son even took off work. They all helped in the yard and I had a nice dinner with them and the grandkids. In their own grief, they also understand I have to deal with my own loss and emptiness to the anniversary day and are open and honest with me that they don't know how to help other than spending time with me. So yes, don't curl up, see someone or like Alice said, even a nature walk. Blessings to you. Doreen

I worked the 1st anniversary without him. I vowed I would take time to be alone with him over the weekend. That Saturday I made the traditional anniversary dinner. I ate the dinner in silent memories, in front of his ashes. Then I cried myself to sleep.

Don't do what I did. Although my heart was in the right place, yet when I look back, this is not something healthy to do. It leads to depression. Get out with family or friends, if you can. Hugs.

My 42ND anniversary was Jan 15, 4 months after my husband had passed away. I dreaded it and for about a week before was upset. When the day actually came it wasn't as bad as I had feared. My daughter had me over to her house for supper so I wouldn't eat alone and that helped

Our 33rd anniversary was 3 months after my husband died suddenly. I was still in the middle of spending a good part of every day crying.
This was also the first "holiday" since his passing. I decided to be proactive. I called my grown children and told them I wanted the whole family to go out to dinner to celebrate the day that our wonderful family began. I chose a new restaurant I had been wanting to try (no memories of how we used to go there). I have 4 married sons, one son who was still a teenager and 3 grandchildren (at that time), so there were 13 of us in all. We had a lovely time. We didn't ignore the day, or spend too much time concentrating on the loss, but rather celebrated the results of our wonderful marriage.

Thank you for your responses. My daughter called me and told me she is taking off work tomorrow and spending the day with me. She doesn't want me to be by myself. We are going to Trader Joes, take care of business concerning the house, shop for window accessories for my bedroom and go to lunch. I recently had hardwood floors installed in what used to be our bedroom. He passed away in our bed on a Saturday morning. Every Saturday morning is still hard for me if I am in the house.

What a good thing your daughter is doing. What would we do without our wonderful daughters who are so caring.

I am so grateful for spending what would have been our 30th anniversary with my daughter. We did all I posted in previous messages, but wanted to add that my husband had two gift cards from K and G clothing store. I had carried them in my wallet for months and today with my daughter, went to K and G and found out there was money left on the cards. So, I bought clothing with his card, kiss his picture and thanked him for my anniversary gift from him.

Praised. Ken's and my Anniversary is April 28th 1973. Ken passed a month before 3 years ago. Our Daughter and I carry on tradition her Dad and I always did. We go out for chinese food. Gives me something to look foreward to and our 8 year old grandson gives me a long stem red rose like Ken did it really makes the day still special. Find something special to do next year.

It`s important to carry on but doing some of the traditional things on an important date may bring sadness and pain but it also brings something important to the day. The knowledge that you had them in your life and that their life mattered.
Last year on our Wedding anniversary which was a few days short of 4 months after he passed, I was out of town visiting my parents. My mom had a hard time with me wanting to acknowledge the fact that it was my wedding anniversary..
I stayed firm , went to church and remembered . Later that day, I climbed a mountain (1000 ft) in his honour, something we had wanted to do together but did not get to do. At dinnertime , my brother shocked me, (this was in another province so they had not been able to come) and said that while it may be hard for them to have to listen, he wanted me to know that I should feel free to talk about my husband on a day that was so special to me.
It hurt me that no one was saying Happy Anniversary but understanding their point of view, they were afraid to hurt me by acknowledging that it was.

This year on his birthday , my daughter and I went ahead and went out to dinner at the same Restaurant that will always went to for celebrating birthdays and anniversaries.