my advice, from someone that married her boogly at a young age (we were both 21).
I can not say this enough to gal pals. let go of the small, insignificant stuff. let it go and move on. i remember getting upset at my husband because he didn't take out trash when i wanted it out. ohh, or when i was cleaning and he was watching his dodger game. this is the petty stuff that honestly is not worth getting all riled up for.
all the time wasted on that. time that could have been spent holding hands, kissing or simply talking.

one more thing, loose the pride and say sorry even if you think you might be the one that has the point. sometimes this easy little word can work wonders.

okay, im no expert so i shall stop there. i could seriously counsel myself here. :)

I tell everyone that communication is the key to our relationship. When I am especially down, I have to remind myself that I can still communicate with Connan, just not like I used to.

We were and are very much loved.

I so agree with you lucygoo, turn toward each other. Sometimes it may be just agreeing to disagree. I think one of the best things anyone can do is not depend on others to make you happy and blame them if your not. Ask yourself if you that much fun to live with.

My DIL was mad at my son one day because he forget to mail something for her, I asked her if it would really matter one week from now or one month? I think it gave her a different perspective on what was really important in life.

My Bear and I were great friends before we started dating (in the dark ages) I think that is the most important thing you can have in a lasting relationship.

Hugs

You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Accept that we all have faults, the beauty is being able to see those faults as loveable characteristics or learning experiences.
ACCEPTANCE - the good with the not so great. Don't try to change yourself or your partner. Be yourself, but be willing to grow together.
HUMOR - you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and never take the small stuff seriously.
TALK IT OUT -but only between yourselves. What happens behind closed doors, stays there!
Relationships take lots of work....so you must have a strong work ethic!

I think everyone has said it pretty well. Never walk out the door mad...remember we may never see that person we love again. Always kiss hello and good-bye at least that's what we did. Also the many times Jim was sick we pulled together and became closer. Always stop and think-maybe I won't ever see this person I love so much again. Stay as close as you can and be happy.

I think you need to have RESPECT for the other person in who they are, don't try and change them after being married. You should know them well before you make this committment. Remember those vows and live by them....
DON'T sweat the small stuff.....
Be able to have fun and enjoy LIFE !!!!

Take time for just the two of you to talk until the morning hours and not realize it is even morning. Dance slowly with each other holding on tight even when there is no music. Never forget to that you and he are the biggest priority in your life. Take the time to tell each other something you love about them everyday. Overuse the words " I Love You". Don't put off until tomorrow the happiness you can find together today.

Hugs,

Robin

Great Post

We were married at 18 and 20. We ended growing up together. My advice would be to have each others back unconditionaly. Know that the person you plan to spend the rest of your together, will change. We all go through changes, andyou both need to really support these stressful times. Have fun getting older together, the slowing down, hard of hearing, borrowing each others readers, trying to get each other to take more supplements then they want,ect.Enjoy each other! G-

My advice would be...Remember you are a team. When one person smiles, you both smile...when one person hurts..you both hurt. Live so that the other can always know that they are the luckiest person on earth and tell each other often how lucky you are. Do the little things...little things matter so much more than the big things. Remember to let your inner child come out and play....so then you can play together.

The very things that you find so endearing and love so much about them are the very things that annoy you later on, and the very things that you miss the most when they are gone. Know this ahead of time so you do not spend all of your time complaining about those very things. Love ALL of them.....

Did I say laugh together...A LOT!

I read an article one time that "how couples argue" determine whether or not they would stay together. I told my husband what I read. He laughed because we quite literally never argued . I said.."no seriously honey....we are going to HAVE to argue sometime so we know "if" we will stay together or not." He said, "okay..how about next week..say...Friday." I said...no, that won't work, because that's our fun night out...."how about next month..in January?" He said.."first or second week?" I said.."the second week sounds good." He said, "okay, the second week it is then."

If we disagreed on anything we knew the goal was to find a win/win situation. We always did. If one person won and one person lost, then we would have both lost..

Someone said once early on in our relationship that we had what we did because we were still living in the honeymoon stage. So once in awhile (the entire time that we were together) one of us would look to the other and say, "that's because we're still in the honeymoon stage." Of course that would make us both chuckle again. We went through a lot of life's ups and downs, but we chose to put our best foot forward with each other always....so we never grew out of the honeymoon stage.

Thank you for the reminder of our wonderful love....
hugs...
-Diana

me moesy did everthink together help each other out . i knew i was still in love her because when i looked at her i still fancy her like i did the first time i saw her on our first date

I love hearing other talk about the love they shared. Don and i never knew another couple who shared what we had. It was a second marriage for both of us. We both felt like we learned from mistakes we made in the first marriages. Our relationship started as "just friends" and grew. He was the first person in my life who accepted and loved me for who I was. He came into my life when I was broken down and suffering from a very low self esteem. He built me up. We started from day one with baseline of honesty. We promised each other that no matter what we would always be honest with each other. That honesty built a trust and love that was indestructable. We also had some very difficult times through our over 30 years together. But we found that together we could manage anything and come out stronger on the other side. Well, until now.... We wanted our children to grow up seeing what a loving relationship was suppose to be. We said I love you so many times a day I can't count. We hugged. We held hands when we were walking. Every single night I layed on his shoulder and he held me as we went to sleep. He made me laugh. He made me smile. I miss that. Hugs, Vicki.

When I first met Greg I had come off a very bad and very long first marriage. Although we both knew we had something special when we met, we took thing very slowly, and started off as friends. To make our FAMILIS comfortable with being together, before we jumped. I remember telling him that this time around I KNEW that all put their best face forward in the beginnings of any relationship, and I never wanted to wake up 5 years later 'meeting" the person I thought I knew.

Let YOU BE YOU show WARTS and all, and accept those warts as part of who the person you will share you life with. Always be genuine. Let each other be individuals, as well as a couple, so you both have many things to share. Respect differences, and as was said before never sweat the small astuff. Make time to say "I love you" as much as possible, and love the person "as is'. They are not a room to be remodeled.

Adopt that 'Don't go changing to try to please me, I love you just the way you are" philosophy, and all will be just fine.

HUGS to all of us that were so VERY MUCH LOVED. Diane

Whenever there was a wedding shower for someone in our office, the ladies would all get together and put together a cookbook for the bride-to-be, but it was no ordinary cookbook - in addition to contributing a favorite recipe, each of us would give advice to the new bride on how to make the best of her new marriage. What was interesting was that all of us that had been married a long time (Cliff and I were together 30 years, married 28), had pretty much the same advice - even though we were all very different people with very different spouses. The biggest, most recurring comment was: "Remember to say the 3 most important words in the English language - it's not I love you, although those are important, too - say 'I Am Sorry' - and never go to bed mad! Work it out before then."

The other advice I would give is to never forget why you married each other in the first place. And the advice my parents gave me on my wedding day - that the two most important things in a marriage are Patience and Compassion. I've never forgotten that wisdom.

After Cliff died, it was bittersweet to contribute to the next bridal cookbook, but I did, and I added that they should treasure each and every day together because you will never know which one will be your last together. The bride was especially touched by that, and I hope she remembers that advice.

We, too, always kissed hello and goodbye, even if we were only out of each other's sight for 15 minutes. We used to get kidded about that. I guess because there were times when our marriage was so rocky, we did value what we managed to have together. We nearly lost each other more than once before we did lose each other, and it changed the way we dealt with each other. I have no regrets.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

We were together from the time I was 14--married at 18 and he was 22 and we were married just short of 40 years. I think my best advice tht hasn't already been stated would be to cherish every moment--concentrate on the important things--take those vacations and weekends away--remember to enjoy each other--the dishes will wait--the yard can be mowed next Saturday--the more time you spend together just enjoying each other and making memories the easier it is to say I love you often and I'm sorry when it needs to be said. My sweet husband doted on me my whole life--he pampered me--did for me---I had never even put gas in my own car until he got sick--he told me he loved me often--I knew I was loved. If I could change one thing it would be that we would have spent more time just doing fun things and going fun places the last few years of his life after his heart attack. I wish we had taken that last vacation together we thought we couldn't afford.

We were together from the time I was 14--married at 18 and he was 22 and we were married just short of 40 years. I think my best advice tht hasn't already been stated would be to cherish every moment--concentrate on the important things--take those vacations and weekends away--remember to enjoy each other--the dishes will wait--the yard can be mowed next Saturday--the more time you spend together just enjoying each other and making memories the easier it is to say I love you often and I'm sorry when it needs to be said. My sweet husband doted on me my whole life--he pampered me--did for me---I had never even put gas in my own car until he got sick--he told me he loved me often--I knew I was loved. If I could change one thing it would be that we would have spent more time just doing fun things and going fun places the last few years of his life after his heart attack. I wish we had taken that last vacation together we thought we couldn't afford.