Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
One of the first and strongest feelings I have had since Joe died is, "How am I going to make it without him?" I feared even stepping outside the house. It's been 2 and a half years now and I have found that I CAN make it by myself. I thought those of us who are a little further down the road than our new members could share with them some BIG things we have survived alone. I hope it will give them HOPE.
Since Joe died, I have:
1. Driven alone to another town.
2. Bought a little old RV and gone camping by myself in a safe park.
3. Had surgery.
4. Flew by air to visit his family 600 miles away.
Let's hear some other experiences from you guys!
Since Joe died, I have:
1. Driven alone to another town.
2. Bought a little old RV and gone camping by myself in a safe park.
3. Had surgery.
4. Flew by air to visit his family 600 miles away.
Let's hear some other experiences from you guys!
that I can drive 600 + miles in a day with out falling asleep - did it in December and May (always slept when he drove)
that I am going to get on a plane in a few days to go to Las Vegas - haven't flown since 2008 and will be by myself for the first time in 40 years
that I can do minor jobs around the house
that I can clean this big house all by myself, including the bird cages
that I can ask people for help and usually get it
that I can walk the dog a couple of miles a day (was always his job)
that I can smile at all our memories and good times together
that I could not hold it together at our grandson's graduation last Sunday
many more things too.........
Hugs, Valerie
-I contacted tax assessor and was able to reduce property taxes.
-bought out the lease on our Honda Pilot
-paid down the mortgage and obtained a "one salary" house payment
-negotiated to have our driveway poured
-had sprinkler system put in
-with the help of my kids put the yard in (we had moved into our new home 7 months before Stan died).
-started "Grandpa's Garden with the grandkids
-learning about 403B, changed Stan's 401K to my name
-changed all on the titles on the cars, camper, truck
-organized my taxes and my mom's taxes
-working my job as I did before Stan died
-learning my way in this changing life---trying to be emotionally healthy on the other side of grief some day.
-appreciating the little joys of life with my family and remembering to have a grateful heart-----a process one day at a time.
1) I learned how to change all the titles over to just me
2) Go to tax assessor and get property taxes lowered
3) Finish remodeling a bathroom (left half torn down when he fly away and never came back)
4) Finished staining, hanging trim, painting, getting carpet laid
5) Bought a weed eater I could use,
6) Learned how to fix snowmobile things
7) Learned how to maintain lawn mower - riding & other (I first put way too much oil in)
8) Learned how to run irrigation pump to keep flooding down
9) Learned how to stand up to irrate neighbor & not get shot
10) slowly learning how to fix dinner for one
11) Learned to ask for help when physically unable to
AND learning how to maintain fencing and everything else that goes with 5 acres, horses, cats and dogs....
AND I keep learning how to survive all of the being widow is about
at times barely but I am working on it
1) how to use his iPhone
2) how to put pictures on a disc
3) lots and lots about the laptop
4) how to stop flapping, and take my time when I'm doing something new; take time out if it frustrates me, then come back to it
5) how to SURVIVE
6) more about myself, how to manage the up and down days
7) I have to stand on my own two feet, choose friends wisely
8) to look after our son by myself
9) a new job role
10) and completed a Teaching Assistant course
11) that money isn't everything
12) how much he really meant to us, and how much I really miss him
13) to be more patient, not to rush
14) that Rics death would be one of the toughest things I have ever faced
15) that we can live again, but I have to make the effort
16) how to put oil and water in the car, and air in the tyres
17) how to change the battery in the keyfob for the car
18) there will NEVER be anyone like him and I will always love him, he is safe in our memories and hearts.