Since Willie died I have,
conquered yardwork (which was totally his domain)
Learned when service people are not on the up and up
Found a wonderful church family

Since Bob passed away, I have fixed my dishwasher, learned how to use the snake and power auger, learned a lot about how to use the pc and all the stuff he has on it, and learned to use most of the tv/dvr stuff, thought there is a dvd player I have yet to master. I've hired a plumber, reorganzied the garage, and managed to get out of bed more mornings than not.

Since Jim died I bought new tires for both cars, learned a lot about doing things on my own, iearned how to operate the Tractor to cut the 3/4 acres of grass and the snow blower to clear the driveway. i have called to get the air conditioner fixed and I have called the plumber just recently to unclog the pipe going to the septic tank. I have refinanced the house and I even bought a new printer and installed it myself. I have not taken a vacation a true vacation since he died. It's been three years since Jim died....I wonder if he would recognize the new me?

Since my husband died, I flew to another state.
I had surgury alone while he was very ill.
I have to drive evrywhere alone now.
I bought a new computer.
not really much else I can think of.
It still STINKS!!

OH gosh

Remodeled a bathroom most of it myself, repainted several rooms that with help from daughter & grandkids, fixed so many things all so I could get house to sell

Fought with neighbor over water rights (ha ha but I won I think)

Pumped flood water daily to protect pastures/hay

Made it on my 5 acres without breaking a leg, arm or other body parts except my brain broke a little here and there

Learnt alot about how strong I am along the way

Since Pat died 10 months ago,I have had to make more decisions than ever before,learned that money does not grow on trees,bought a singlewide(had inlaws help some)kept tires on car,had oil changes done,found a church me and the kids love,became baptist,had the washer fixed 4 times

I think deep down I knew I COULD go on without him I just had to figure out HOW. Problem was in the beginning I just didn't WANT to.

The day before the memorial service I needed gas. As I was trying to figure out the pump, I realized I hadn't done this in over 10 years. He just always took care of that for me. Driving in a rain storm - I hadn't done that in 20 years. I was perfectly comfortable riding in the passenger seat. He called me Miss Daisy.

So in the beginning, it was the "little" things I learned to overcome and realize and assert my independence.

Since then, I've moved, remodeled my new home, including painting every room, minor plumbing (including installing a new toilet), minor electrical, drywall repair. All of my own yard work on my 4 acres.
I had surgery, alone - and was actually mad that they wouldn't let me drive myself home.
I negotiated a heck of a deal on a new vehicle.
The fun stuff - I've traveled quite a bit, mostly solo, by car, air and ship, including abroad. I push myself - ziplining, parasailing. Each time my anxiety lessens. Practice, practice, practice.
At first I dislike being told how strong I was, now I realize how strong I really am. And, I gonna be OK. He loved life so much, I've learned to appreciate just how fragile it is, and I plan to live it to its fullest.
So YES, WE CAN MAKE IT.
Hugs & Hope to ALL, Cathy

Since Don died my major accomplishment were within my myself. My identity was as .....child, ..........wife........mother........supervisor. The list goes on and on. No self knowledge, no self awareness, totally based on other's perception.

Now I am Sharon!! A capabe woman who can make her own decisions without taking a survey. I even can say "no" without fear that you won't like it. I can live on my own, support myself, and do what I choose. I can live with a man I love and not be married until we decide the time is right. I can do, think, and accomplish my own goals in my own time. I am an independent woman for the first time in my entire life. It feels great! Sharon

Since my husband died,

I got siding on my house and had sand pumped under it. Had both front and back door replaced.
I went to Washington DC, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Kansas City.
Changed 2 toilet seats on my own. Bought a weed eater, and learned how to use it.
Bought a car

Since Jim died 18 months ago I had the furnace replaced which happened 3 days after Jim's memorial service. Jim's profession was heating/AC and refrigeration installation so this was a decision that at first had me in tears. But I pushed forward and got 3 estimates and made the decision.

1. I made an excellent deal on a newer car.
2, Learned how to remove and replace grout around the shower and tile.
3 Had gutters replaced and repainted the awning over the patio.
4. Have learned many minor repairs around the house.
5 Got a part-time job.
6. Most important of all I am learning to be comfortable living alone which is the first time in my entire life.
7. Accepting not being a part of a couple as I had been for 45 years.
8. Know that the Lord is always walking with me no matter what situation arises.
9. Learned this grieving process is just that - a process and to take it one day at a time.

I have learned that I am not a mental case.
After giving myself plenty of time just to roll on my room floor, sobbing and wanting to die , I got to deal with the harsh realities. Starting with the being unemployed a week after my husbands passing, being laid off from my teaching job.
Went on a job hunt, and got employed although a part time, still a job.
Made some minor repairs, replaced burned trees, and shrubs in the backyard, seeded grass (not much success here yet).
Was in a big fight with the University to instate me into my graduate studies, while grieving I got outside the time frame given for final research. Managed to convince them to take me on probation give me 4 months to finish. Finished my research dissertation and walked on a stage receiving my doctoral degree. I am still in disbelieving that I actually have done that!
I also learned that I need to accept that my life changed, and stop fighting that change.
Still learning to live without the one I loved, trying to live it as well as I can with my heart scarred, yet it is still beating.
Blessings to all of you! You deserve a big hug for your achievements.

Since Kenny died I have,

1. learning how to cook .
2. how to use the leaf blower
3.started a computer class,because he was the one that fixed
everything that went wrong with the computer.
4. joined a health club
5. learned how to beg for money and help when the a/c went out in my car. ( lol) but true
6.Found great support and friends here on DS

Since dave died 14 months ago i have

1. sold his truck bought a jeep.
2. sold my house and bought a smaller house.
3 dealt with taxes and estate people still dealing with them
4.learned to use the yard tools
5 painted and remodeled some rooms in new house
6 loving all 4 of my children and teaching them that there dad is always with them and that life is Precious and not to waste a single moment of it.

Hi
O started reading some of the replies and you all sound as if your doing so much better then I am. I don't know how to stop being a wife after 35 years that is all I know. I do go to work everyday not today I need to have the air fixed.
I can't sleep cooking for one is no fun so way eat. I can eat lunch at work when I'm around people but not at home.
How do you go on I haven't found that out yet and my husband died in Jan of this year. I know it hasn't been that long but now I find that there are so many things I can't do anymore and I don't know how to do them.
Doing the ashes next month and I have already been getting sick over that.
Any ideas anyone would have have on going on I would love to hear them.
Ideas on how to make ends meet without his income would be wonderful. I need to skip bills to but food. How are you doing it we used everything when he was sick and I'm not old enough for his SS for a few years yet I really think everything is working out against me know.
Thanks for for being out there just needed to get some of the stuff off my chest I can't tell my boys they are having a hard time of it themselves and they have children to take care.

Hey I am doing great.
1. I have learned how to burn water while boiling it.
2. I have learned how to plug in the vacuum cleaner. Now if I can just figure out how to turn it on.
3. I learned you can't put metal in a microwave. Ouch.
4. I learned how to do laundry. Still trying to figure out why my underwear is a light blue now. It was white. Oh well, I like blue better.
5. I have learned that our dogs can't stay locked up in the house all day alone. What a mess.
6. I have learned that my life is a total mess without Donna.
7. I traveled back to our home town by myself for the first time. That was probably the hardest.
8. I have learned that there are some wonderful people in this world and they are all here at DS.
Take care my friends.
Ralph