Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
In reading all the posts over months and months, it strikes me how different each marriage was. I had the marriage everyone would die for. A friend of mine was married to a belligerent drunk and he made her life miserable. Both our husbands got cancer diagnoses about the same time. My friend was devastated, of course, but after her husband died,(5 mos before my hubby died), she began seeing a man at about her 3 month mark. He moved in, stayed a few months, then she kicked him out. About 6 months later she got married. Don't know how this one will work out. Anyway, the point is that her marriage was not solid and they were not really devoted to each other the way my hubby and I were devoted to each other. The depth of my attachment to my hubby was so deep, so permanent, so God-centered, I am at almost a year and 10 months. I still cannot imagine another man in my life, although I long for companionship. In a way, I probably envy my friend, that she is married and seemingly happy. But I cannot think of myself in that situation, but I want to. I guess I'm just crazy.
Your friend might be denying her grief or is happy that her new man is sober. Take your time. You'll know when and if your ready. I was only three years and got into a relationship which I ended up married. I'll be divorced in about six weeks. I was not as strong as you are at this time and failed to keep myself out of harms way. The loneliness is tough, I think we would say brutal at times When we remember what we had and lost. But here I am dealing with an emotional "re-run" of the loss of a partner. I am left to deal with this mess I allowed to happen simply because I was not strong enough to be alone. Its traumatic in that is renews old feelings from her passing. Keep listening to your self. your doing fine......
I might suggest that you find a physical support group to attend, I wish I had. Then maybe I could have avoided this event and not have to start over while kicking myself....Just a thought..