Earlier this year during one of my incredibly hurting grief periods, my daughter and I came to verbal blows. This is nothing new, as it has been going on for 20 years. We cannot seem to come to a mutual relationship. I accused her (true) of doing nothing to be helpful to me following the death of my husband (her stepdad). She literally has done nothing. And in the meantime, she has found some half-siblings she never knew she had, and has gone ALL GAH GAH over them, meeting them for dinners,inviting them over to her house for dinner.

In all the twenty years she's been married, she never invited me and my husband for even a hot dog, nor to meet at any of the restaurants we all like.

Since our "break" I have felt immeasurable better, although sad to have lost my daughter. But,then again,what did I lose except a dream?

Two days ago she had an emergency appendectomy. I was informed by my sister, as no one in her family notified me. That's OK, since I've had several surgeries that she never acknowledged or supported me during.

My question is, where do I go from here? Do I accept the fact that she has (for the last 20 years) just dropped me and has chosen her husband's family to meet all her needs? I have apologized for my side of our argument, but never will she EVER accept resonsibility for her side.

I was made a widow over 2 years ago. My daughter has never in any way supported me except going to the funeral. I have done ALL the contacting, assisting her and her kids, given them money, etc.

Should I just give up? I am truthfully more peaceful and calm now that we are not talking but have a sadness that lingers. Thank you for whatever guidance or advice you guys may have.

BTW, I do have a wonderfully supportive son and daughter-in-law who live nearby.