Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't put up a tree since Christmas 2006, our last Christmas together. Dan passed Jan. 23, 2007. Slowly I've been able to manage putting up a few things, things that Dan gave me. But I don't know if I'll ever be able to put up a tree again...we'll see; this lonely journey has had to be one day at a time. HUGS Sue

It's 3 months for me and still so raw. My daughter and I did put a tree up but no decorations inside or outside, I just couldn't do it and neither could my kids. The only reason we did the tree is because my husband would've been so disappointed if we didn't. I'm glad I did though, even when I'm home alone I'll light it and I think of him and smile. Take care of yourself.

I lost my husband not quite 2 months ago. I put up a few decorations this year, not many. Now mother nature has stepped in, and is re-arranging Christmas. My daughter and son-in-law were to come, but the roads are impassible with ice and the heavy snow is really starting in. So, I will be alone with the two cats. Incredibly enough, I am O.K. with that. The alone time is giving me time to breathe, reflect and grieve. I wrote a long letter to him this morning, expressing some things that have been weighing on me, things I didn't get to tell him, how much I miss him. This afternoon, I have been listening to Christmas music and read the Christmas story in the Bible. If they have the Christmas eve service, I will try to get there. If not, that will be O.K. too.

A larger force than I am is in charge now, and so be it. I know I will emerge a stronger person for having survived; scarred, eventually healed over but changed forever. I am hoping I will become more patient, compassionate and caring once I am through the worst of this. So far, indications are that I have some work to do there!

I didnot put up a single thing. It has been since April 1 for me and sometimes it feels like a whole lifetime without him. We also loved this time of year and really put up a lot and did quite a bit of visiting to family and friends. I can't even think of that without him. It just wouldn't feel right.

Do what you feel like doing and if that is no tree, so be it. Sometimes doing things alone that previously did together will feel okay; sometimes not.

sending hugs your way,
Susan

My partner, who passed in May 2007, loved the holidays much more than me, but he made them so special because of his ethusiasm, especially for Christmas. He loved the Christmas Tree Shops, so much I told him he should be in one of their commercials!

As for me, I don't bother with any decorations, cards or a tree. All I know is my heart has a massive hole in it and no one can repair it. The stress and emphasis on material things makes me dislike Christmas even more. I can't wait until it's over.

My main problem is not being angry from my loneliness and feeling alone. I've never been alone, meaning I've always lived with others or had partners until I hit 40, and he suddenly passed.

I don't have any easy answers for others who've lost a spouse or partner. The pain is incredibly hard and the loss becomes a permamnet part of your life. I find the Serenity Prayer is a good resource for personal strength. It helps to accept that there is a lot in life that one can't control and that includes the death of a soulmate.