I'm sorry for your loss........Christmas holidays are the worse when we lose a spouse/partner. My husband died in 2008 and the friend I met in 2009.....I found dead in August. This will be a bad Christmas for me but I'll do my best to enjoy it with my family......I'm still BLESSED!!

Take baby steps and remember to breathe......and cry if need be. I know i'll probably shed a tear or two of my own. I just can't hold them in.

I know 2010 will be a better year for me......I'll see to it.
Hugs...... Jenny

Your husband just died months ago and your loneliness and sadness are normal. It's a hard time of year for me too, and it's my third Christmas without him. It's something we learn to live with, but never forget. Something's will never be the same, but we have to strive to get through the hard times and look for anything to be thankful for. I'm sorry for your pain. Sharon

This is a very different Christmas in many ways. My daughter's husband was a casualty of the recession and spent several months without work. He had to go to another state to find a job. They have been financially strapped since and are barely able to afford their home of 17 years. I always went to their house on Christas morning to watch the kids open gifts. She did not even get a tree this year. They will be spending the night here Christmas Eve and Santa will find his way to my house. With my husband's passing two months ago nothing has been the same. Christmas Eve, Christmas Morning, Christmas day...all being reworked.

Sorry for your loss Marie.
I'm not doing the tree thing this year either. It's no fun without him here & it's something we always did together. I don't blame you.

Hugs, Cyndi

You are still very new to this your feelings are to be expected. My husband has been gone 2 years now just yesterday. This is actually my 3rd Christmas without him now and I still struggle with putting up a tree and decorating. I haven't even sent out cards yet. The tree is up because I am trying to keep things happy for the kids. I know how this is. I will be thinking of you and praying for strength. Hugs Denise

I have a tree, but I can't bear to wake up here on Christmas morning without my husband. I am going to my daughters Christmas eve. The children and grand children are coming over the night before Christmas. I am glad I will still see them, but I can't handle even thinking of Christmas day without my husband yet. He was the center of my world, and now my world feels like I am living someone elses life...a life that I didn't sign up for, one that I do not want, but one that is now mine. Not a very Merry Christmas present our present life is..that's for sure.

Every Christmas morning we would wake up and it was magic being together and having everyone open what we got them, and then opening what we got for each other. My husband always went around and got me everything I ever asked for or dreamed of. I felt so blessed to have him. He was the most thoughtful man I have ever met!

So even though I have a weird little awkward Christmas tree, it's a sad tree this year, and Christmas will horrible without the center of my world. I miss him so so much!!

I wish I had helpful words of encouragement, but it has only been 8 and a half months for me and this will be my first Christmas without him too.

Hugs to you and everyone who is struggling this Christmas..
-Diana

I'm in a condo this Christmas and will spend the day alone. I decorated the fake ficus tree with lights and candy canes, chuckle. Girding my loins for "the" day. My goal is to find as much peace as i can and get through it. If I can do that, it will be a blessing. Hugs to you and wishing you peace. KT

We used to have a tradition of buying joint presents so I have made it a habit to buy something we both would like, or buy something Darryl 'tells' me to get for myself. I also have some cards he wrote for me and I put them out so that it still feels like he is thinking of me in the way he used to. Rituals can become very important at times like this. Maybe you might instigate some new ones.

Marie it is only three months for me and I can't put up a tree nor other Christmas ornaments, not even a wreath on the door. I just can't. If I had my way I would stay home alone on Christmas, but my brother insists I go up to his house. Oh well, I guess I will but my heart will not be in it. Take care and hang in there and I will try also. Benie

My son put up a tree for me. They live with me and my other kids will be here. I did put up some decorations. But the thought of waking up Christmas morning is having a devastating effect on me. I'm angry at the world. Who knows if I'll even get out of bed.

It is 5 months since I lost DH. No decorations at all this year. Not celebrating in any way. I am trying to ignore the season totally. Hoprfully next year will be better.

m9370 sounds like we are doing the same thing nothing. Hope for a better new year is all we have.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Marie.This is my second Xmas without my husband. My husband died less than a month before Christmas last year and I'd moved in with my parents for a while, so I didn't need to worry about Christmas so much. This year I'm trying to keep it happy for the girls, but it's an effort. I've always loved Christmas and I still do, but I have to hide my tears every time I look at our tree. It seems that during the holidays there is no way of escaping the memories.

I feel your pain and I am so sorry for you...for me....for all of us here. It will be three months since my husband's passing and in some ways all that has happened still feels surreal. Every day is difficult but these holidays are especially hard. I hope and pray that 2010 will be a better year for all of us. Hugs to everyone. Donna

We all handle the holidays differently but there is no doubt that the first Christmas without him is the worst! My husband died on December 5th last year, and I made up my mind that I was going to have a "normal" holiday, so I put the tree up, sent out cards, etc. It was horrible, and I felt like I was on "autopilot" the whole time, but looking back I am glad I did it. It made it easier for me to face Christmas this year. I recently moved to a smaller apartment, so it has been natural to do a lot of things diffferently this year - smaller tree, different type of decorating, etc. I am actually enjoying the holiday this year, even though I am still feeling the pain. I think that doing things differently has helped me so much. I have wonderful memories of Christmases past, but I am not trying to recreate them. Instead I am making my own new traditions. Just know that you are not alone, and hopefully next Christmas will be easier. Peace, laurabp