I had days where I couldn't wait to get home -- to our home. I felt him there all the time. Sometimes that was good, sometimes that was hard. But I know what you mean, I think.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Dear Sunflower . . you are not alone in your need to "run home" I actually find myself not wanting to leave the house period. But when I do venture out, I find myself obsessing over getting back home to my sanctuary, with or without hubby. I also have dogs, three rescues, not sure what I would do without them. They are my supportive rocks and best friends! They give me love and purpose beyond.

I also was left with acreage and lots of chores to keep it up. You will figure it all out. I have learned so much, from keeping a pool going without a pool boy to mowing the lawn on a riding mower. I remember sitting for two hours with the manual reading before I could muster the courage to start the darn thing, let alone drive it. :)

Sending lots of healing thoughts and energy your way. xo, Dayna

Thank you, Dayna. You actually made me laugh out loud. Didn't know I could still do that. I had to get out the manual for our Kubota tractor just to start the thing to make sure the battery didn't run down this winter. I had to change the battery on our riding lawnmower. That meant downloading the manual as it was lost; but did it, replaced it, and it starts! Thank you again!

Your feeling of being "home" is so familiar. Again, like you and Dayna I have my amazing Horton to make me feel welcome and needed.

Morey greeted me every day with a "Hi Honey" or just "what's new!" Towards the end of his life he had drastically changed and wasn't anybody that I knew. He had a stroke that took him away before his body passed.

Your home sounds like a true respite for you and your dogs. You will find peace and calmness again. Your man is everywhere in your home......when you're ready you'll put him in a place in your heart where he will always stay. You'll start to claim bits and pieces and then entirely the home that was both of yours.

Everything takes time......allow yourself that time to reflect and think, be sad and even smile at the memories that the two of you made together. Enjoy what he built and relish in the fact that you had each other to love.

I can't make sense out of the loss of my partner in life and it's been 22 months for me. I still miss him so.

We're here for you.

Roz

Hi Sunflower - I lost my husband in May, 2014. His health wasn't great but his death was sudden and unexpected. I know what you mean about the sense of urgency to get home to your husband. I still seem to be on "Todd time." Before he died, even if I was out shopping with no specific time limit , I would feel the urgency to get home just to check in to see what he was doing or if he wanted to do anything. I'm still on that time clock. It's like being a homing pigeon!

After I lost my husband, I felt that way. When he was sick, I would run and do one errand, back home, run, do another one,etc. After his death, My daughter-in-law, made me stay there,at thrir house one day, She would not let me go home. She said, you have to get used to not having to run home every few minutes. She made me stay there the whole day. Took me out to eat, to the movies, then made me spend the night. I know it was hard on her, but she did me a favor. It was good. The next day, when I came home, I went and adopted a dog. Now I have someone to get home to.

hi Sundlower, yes, understand completely your need to run home. For me, it is safe haven from the world, and not a bad thing. After a few hours of being out of the house, it is a comfort to be home. My husband loved our home, and he took such great care of our property, and I do feel his presence here. It has been a major adjustment living alone again. You have a large responsibility with five acres to care for... and hope you get some help.
Much peace to you...