Wow Joe, stepping back and looking at it from our spouse's perspective is awesome. You know, one of us had to go first, and I am so glad Juanita is in the better place now. I would not wish this grief trip on my worst enemy, and certainly not the love of my life. They are waiting for us to join them someday Joe. But for now, our race is not yet finished ~~ Scottie

Joe, I can tell that you were very blessed by all the time you had your wife.
Barbara.

Joe, your story touched my heart. You made me smile. Your girl was also very lucky to have you. There are not many husbands who could
turn those last words into such a beautiful tribute to her.

Peace and strength to you,
Linda

My wife had a "widow-maker" heart attack right before Thanksgiving. They put her on several machines and induced a coma. Weeks later her heart was strong enough to try to remove the machines. In the process she suffered severe bleeding in her brain that destroyed it. She never regained consciousness, and her last words to me were, "Go sit down!" I had been hovering over her while the doctors were preparing for surgery that first day.

So our stories sound very similar, Joe. It's a real shock to be so happy together one moment and to have that all tore away the next. I went through stages where I hoped for full recovery, where I prayed to have the opportunity to take care of her even if she was permenantly disabled, to accepting her death.

The truth is, we talk about dying but we're kind of protected from the reality of it. Death is always something that happens to someone else. I think that applies to our loved ones as well, because a spouse is literally like an extension of oneself. Other people lose their wives or husbands--not us!

We all wear out. Even if our spirit is strong, we're mere flesh and blood. Sometimes death is a blessing. I'm happy my wife didn't suffer. A few hours of pain at the start, and it was all over. Thank God she didn't suffer!

My heart aches for you Joe. Wish I had a magic wand to waive over all of the hurting hearts here. But we must all trudge through this day by day...as someone approaching my second anniversary I can say, it gets easier...for me the meltdowns are farther apart, the tears and loss are still there, but it's manageable...

so well worded. When he thought I was asleep I would hear him praying if he could not be cured then for the lord to bring him home. It was hurt breaking, but he had enough. I wish he could have fought through, but I do not have any anger for him. We all know when we have fought beyond our limit and that is the point he had reached. how ccould I ever be angry with that.

Mary, oddly enough that was my prayer to God of my partner. "Please take her if you can't heal her." She knew it was her time, she was ready to go. Joe, I think it was the same case in your wife's situation. I'm glad you granted her the peace to let her go.

Joe, I can see your growth in just the last three months - the difference of your post when you first found us to the posts you have today. For that I'm proud of your progress. Please give yourself credit for it.

Most people in modern western culture are apprehensive about death, simply because it is the unknown, and that includes me...But in studying Near Death Experiences, they describe being able to see what's coming, and most of them describe something beautiful and magnificent...that seems to be the consensus, and most of then offer the comforting assurance that one day we will join them in that beautiful place...I cannot speak for anyone else, but some of the signs I've been getting in the nine month's since Mary Lou passed, seem to bear that out.

What a good story you shared, Joe. I also love your perspective, "for the first time" she thought about herself. That tells me what a wonderful woman she was.

Wishing you a peaceful day...

Your post touched my heart. I watched my husband transition here in our home surrounded by people he loved and loved him. We had time to talk about his upcoming death time to see his suffering from pain. He was so strong and gallant in his journey to the other side of life. It sounds your wife was the same. I pray we can be as brave as them when we are called to leave this life to the beauty of the future. Sharon

My precious husband of only 14 years passed away Dec. 5th...3 months today. He was such a humble and sweet man, a wonderful Christian role model for my grown children and grandchildren. They loved him so much. I will always be grateful that we had him in our lives. I find myself taking on roles that were his, such as yard work...I hated it...he loved it. Last night I went to Lowe's, stocked up on flowers and plants, lugged in heavy bags of mulch and created a beautiful garden he would have been proud of. I felt so close to him.