It's so hard. I'm sitting here this evening crying my eyes out. It's been almost two years you would think I have been through the worst but I don't think I have been. I don't see it ever being any better. I loved her so much. I miss her so much. I know you all do too.

sorry for the depth of the pain, we know, we understand. blessings

Jeff, I am an RN, worked for 52 years in healthcare, saw a great many lives slip away. And yet, when our family made the hard decision to let our husband, father, best friend be taken off life support after a very long battle with cancer, and hold him and watch his heart, breath and soul slip away into oblivion, it was the most difficult thing I have ever witnessed. But, our three children also lost their Dad and best friend. We had to hold him, talk to him, hold each other, and talk to each other to stay sane. I have replayed that terrible day, 16 months ago, every night as I go to bed. I glimpse it often each day. I cannot stop thinking that there was something else we could have done, something I could have done....something...anything...?
I hope for you and for me, and for all reading this, that with the passing of time, we can come to ease about that last day, hour, moment. Our loved one would want us to........

iksonak

Tears are rolling down my cheeks too. My husband went home to Jesus September 3rd of last year. I can't believe that it has almost been one year. I too am remembering and reliving his final days on earth. August was a bad month for him. He had an aggressive form of prostate cancer. He had gone through radiation but all that did was slow it down temporarily. Most of August was spent trying to get a biopsy (4 tries) of a place on his back near his heart. August 23rd we left the house to get the results and he never came home. He didn't even get to say good-bye to our animals. I too watched him take his last breath while I was holding his hand. He had had a stroke and was unable to communicate. He had many other health problems besides the prostate cancer so anything the doctors could do that would help most patients would have made his situation worse. I told him if he needed to go he could, that I would be okay. He was in ICU two days. On Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013 at 12:21 God called my beloved Wayne home. I miss him so much. I know he isn't suffering anymore and that he has found peace...I wish some of that peace would find me. Keeping you in my prayers Jeff. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless.

Newlife, Thanks. Watching her take her last breath was one of the worst things I have ever experienced, but I am thankful I was there for her in that moment. I too told her it was ok to go, i didn't want her to naturally, but I knew it was her time.

Thanks all.