Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Nick died on 3/28/2011. My world and the best part of me died with him. Since then I have "gone through the motions" of keeping busy & taking care of business & maintaining our home. Nothing has felt "real". I do not feel connected to anyone or any thing. Nothing seems to have meaning or bring happiness. (Things might be distracting or entertaining for a bit, but no real connection or enjoyment.) I realize that this must change if I am to continue to survive.
This morning I did not want to ever get out of bed again. I was hoping to stay there for the rest of my life. But, no, five cats finally convinced me to get up & feed them. Since I was up I did some thinking. I remembered a little note my mother kept next to her African Violets while she was alive. Here is what it said: "Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But, if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder." (author unknown)
So, I am making a list of the business type things I must get done and will do this without wondering if I am happy or not. Just get 'er done!
I have also agreed to meet with a lady to discuss becoming a CASA volunteer. I also have a date set with my sister, Lorraine, to go with her on 8/3/11 to the Humanitarian Center. This center works to complete items like tied quilts, activity books, children's clothing, etc to donate to the different homeless shelters in and around our area. If this doesn't "turn mu attention to other things" there is one more volunteer group in town I will look in to.
Maybe by really getting in to activities to help others will in time give me meaning to get up in the mornings and the ability to reconnect with life. I know it will never be the same but perhaps it will in time be worth while after all.
I just thought I'd share this with all of you as it will help me to actually commit to this action. Thank you for being my sounding board.
Darlene
This morning I did not want to ever get out of bed again. I was hoping to stay there for the rest of my life. But, no, five cats finally convinced me to get up & feed them. Since I was up I did some thinking. I remembered a little note my mother kept next to her African Violets while she was alive. Here is what it said: "Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But, if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder." (author unknown)
So, I am making a list of the business type things I must get done and will do this without wondering if I am happy or not. Just get 'er done!
I have also agreed to meet with a lady to discuss becoming a CASA volunteer. I also have a date set with my sister, Lorraine, to go with her on 8/3/11 to the Humanitarian Center. This center works to complete items like tied quilts, activity books, children's clothing, etc to donate to the different homeless shelters in and around our area. If this doesn't "turn mu attention to other things" there is one more volunteer group in town I will look in to.
Maybe by really getting in to activities to help others will in time give me meaning to get up in the mornings and the ability to reconnect with life. I know it will never be the same but perhaps it will in time be worth while after all.
I just thought I'd share this with all of you as it will help me to actually commit to this action. Thank you for being my sounding board.
Darlene
Personally, I would hate to have to fight off the sadness with pills or alchohol...rather let go and let God put me where I need to be.
Sounds like your plan is a good one
And you're right, now that you told all of us, you have to keep us updated! Be blessed in your new adventure...you never know what lies around the bend! Peace and hugs...Jill
(((hugs)))
Carla
Kathleen
I LOVE GET ER DONE!!! Think I'll adopt that one myself! :-)
HUGS, and thanks for such an uplifting post!
Diane
I always referred to it as a tunnel I stumbled through. It's four years now and I have survived and can see the sunshine without resentment that the world didn't stop on the day my life ended. I discovered who I was as an individual and although I'll never stop loving that wonderful guy I married I can smile at the memories and continue to build new ones. Sharon