glad you found this group. it has helped me so much. i lost my husband 8 months ago. Still miss him so, but as time goes on it does numb the pain. sorry for your loss. hugs Arlene

I'm glad you found this group too. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've walked your walk and felt what you're feeling. It's okay and quite normal. All of us here have heard this over and over again but it truly just takes time to go through this journey. It would be great to fast forward a year or so to avoid the grief that you will feel. But...you can't. You have to go through it, not around it.
Come here often, spend the day if need be. This board has helped me and countless others more than you can imagine. Read, write, ask questions....anything that helps you. I can guarantee that what ever concerns that you have....someone here has been there and more than willing to help.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you new friend...
Darcie

Thank you all. This has been the worst thing I have been through. I think the thing is that people do not understand, unless they have been through it, the depth of the loss. I am exhausted, and don't want to talk to anyone. Life goes on for most. For me it feels like it is at a standstill. The first two weeks I thought oh, okay I am going to be fine. But now, it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and the one person who really got me is gone. I know I have to go through this, but I really hate this.

I know, in part, your pain. We all grieve in different ways, yet there seems to be some symptoms that are more common than others. At the two- three week marker the initial shock was over for me. I was just beginning to realize that it wasn't some bad dream I was going to wake up from. I began to feel the impact. I still had no appetite and ate only to appease other people or to ward off the weak feeling I would get when I didn't consume enough calories. By far the worst physical symptom I had was the inability to sleep. I would average 3-4 hours daily. The lack of sleep profoundly affected my ability to think. I also had extreme anxiety. I used an anti anxiety agent to help me and it helped with my sleep too.

I am now at the three month marker and doing much better physically. I have an appetite now and I sleep much better- though I still have a bad night every few nights. I average closer to six hours sleep. I am also medication free again- for about the last ten days.

At two weeks, I looked for things to keep me busy and around other people. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. Now- it is the opposite- I feel like I am withdrawing from most of my social circle. Hopefully, this is a phase.

Just within the last week or so, the weight of grief has lessened. I still cry daily, but I am much quicker to recover my focus after an upset and my day doesn't consist of mostly grieving with just a little living life. Rather- it is most living life- with just some moments of grief mixed in. I feel this may be temporary- and I am as prepared as I can be for an onset of profound grief again.

If you need anything or have questions, please feel free to ask. There are many kind and generous people here.

Peace Be With You!

Hi Mrs Mills -- welcome to our little group. Here, the a price of admission is more than any of us would ever willingly pay. But it is here that we can share our experiences and tears and memories and thoughts and love, and yes, even our laughter. I promise you that if you want to, you will make many friends here. I've never been around so many loving and kind people before. Grieving has no rules, and right now you are in shock, no right or wrong to any of it, do whatever you need just to survive the minute, the hour, and the day. All of us are here for you. So just be like Garfield on the back screen door -- Just hang in there! God bless and comfort you in this your time of need ~~~ Scottie

Hello MrsMills. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I felt almost the same way at two weeks. I lost my husband 7 weeks ago and I can also state, from experience, that it does get better. Please hold on to that fact. I also understand the bewilderment that anyone could smile or laugh...or even pay attention to anything.

I am glad you have children to help you, and this group is really great. Please read everything you can here because you will feel among friends who truly understand.

Welcome and sending big hugs...

MysticDay

At a little over seven months I have adjusted to handling it a little better. What will get you is being blindsided by a wave of grief out of no where. The only thing you can do is let it run it's course. Being a man of faith I spend just about every waking hour either speaking outloud or in my heart to God. My wife had a daughter but she is handling this in her own way, So unfortunately I don't see her much at all. Most of my family has passed away. The friends we knew dissapeared. I am keeping in the faith and have hope that He will show me the way thru this as He promised.
This group has been a godsend. I have found the folks here to be some of the most caring and compassionate folks I have known, even if it is online. I feel like we are an exttended family.
I will keep you in my prayers with everyone as we walk this uncertain path. Take care of yourself. Oh it's O.K. to hide under the covers on days you want to. I do.
Peace, Tim