Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I can hardly believe I am posting on a support group for widowers. It was never part of the plan that my wife would pass before me, especially at 53 years old. Clearly God's timing is not man's timing and so here I am telling my story in the hope that someone will be able to relate. Virginia left this world three weeks ago on our 29th anniversary. She was an incredible mother to our three adult children, and for the past seven months has been overwhelmed in joy by our first grandchild. Her passing was both sudden, and unexpected. She had a cough, and was treated for bronchitis. Her cough persisted and it was determined that she had pneumonia. The doctor thought something might be causing the pneumonia so he ordered a CAT scan. Virginia died during the test from heart failure caused by stage 4 lung cancer that had originated in her uterus. The cough was the only symptom she experienced, and unfortunately, it was a symptom of the final stage of the cancer. "There are no words" is a sentiment I have heard over and over since her death. She was a dearly loved friend to many. The kids and I did not want a funeral, so we held a celebration of life. It was a church service giving honor to God and celebrating the time we had with this wonderful Godly woman. Over 400 people joined us in the celebration. Everyone has been very encouraging, and we have many good friends to lean on. I am grateful for the way God orchestrated things so that she did not experience the suffering that many do with cancer, and that she was fully sedated when she left this world. I can't think of a better scenario for her. She had no idea she was that sick. She was having a test done to determine what was behind the pneumonia. Neither we, or the doctors had a clue about what was going to happen. While I am encouraged by the knowledge of her eternal condition, I am completely devastated by the pain and loss. I know God will provide healing, and I will continue to seek His answers, but for now,,,I am numb. So many questions, so much grief, so little sleep, and no clue about the future. This hole seems too deep and too wide to ever fill. This is my prayer as much as my testimony. I look forward to one day joining my wife again, but for now, I am making it moment by moment, and trying to not let my grief keep me from helping my children with theirs.
As I read your words of bewilderment and pain during this time, you emanate the strength, hope and peace that only The Lord can give us. The peace of knowing, your wife, didn't suffer in death and knowing her resting place is in heaven, is beyond understanding. I do understand and I am thankful you are firmly held on the solid Rock of Christ.
My husband passed, 2 years ago, my relationship with God, is everything to me. Without my faith in God, this thing called grief can turn into a monster, which can overwhelm every sense and emotion I feel. I have a resting place, in Him. When the circumstances of this life overwhelm me; and sometimes, they do, ( Life, in every way, is not the same, without my husband,we truly became one ) I hold on to God.
The reason I came here, was because I needed contact with people who understood the depth of devastation of my loss. Everything in our faith brings us through into hope. This forum, in the past, helped, me to relate to people who were feeling the exact emotions I was struggling with. Most people don't understand, until they go through the unique loss of a spouse.
The numbness you feel is normal, I believe it is God!s protection. This journey is a rollers coaster of emotions.
Come here to vent and support others, when it all gets to much. We really understand each other, in grief.
There is a WW forum for us WW if faith also.
Your post, for me, is an amazing testimony of Faith. Thanks for sharing.
May Our God bless you and keep you........Sandra
Thank you again for the support and information. It is helpful, and I will keep you in prayer.