Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today I had someone come and pick up all bill,s clothes and things.
It was a lady who is trying to raise money for her son to go and work for a charity abroad , he has had to raise the money himself and has been doing various things such as car boot sales (yard sales) etc. I felt this was a good cause and that Bill would have liked this idea.
Earlier in the week I had my favourite Photo of Bill enlarged and framed
It was a photo which was taken in Spain when we were on Holiday and he looks so healthy and happy . Up until now I seem to have focused on the last six months of his life when he was suffering and was weak and sad and not at all like the Person I have spent most of my life with.
The picture was a turning point for me seeing Bill as the person I have loved for nearly 40 years made me think until his cancer took hold he was always happy so why should I let myself focus on the few short months when he was ill when I should be focusing on the 38 wonderful years he spend making me happy and giving me 3 wonderful daughters this was the real Bill and I owe it to him to remember him as he really was
I now wake up every morning and smile when I see him smiling down on me looking happy , the smile does not last all day but I have made up my mind that i will try to extend this smile a little longer each day.
I dont know if I will manage this but I am certainly going to try as I know that it will be breaking his heart to see me so sad all the time
I feel so privilaged and blessed to have had so many wonderful years
with this man who was loved by everyone.
HUGS TO EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU CAN ALL FIND SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU SMILE EVEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE
It was a lady who is trying to raise money for her son to go and work for a charity abroad , he has had to raise the money himself and has been doing various things such as car boot sales (yard sales) etc. I felt this was a good cause and that Bill would have liked this idea.
Earlier in the week I had my favourite Photo of Bill enlarged and framed
It was a photo which was taken in Spain when we were on Holiday and he looks so healthy and happy . Up until now I seem to have focused on the last six months of his life when he was suffering and was weak and sad and not at all like the Person I have spent most of my life with.
The picture was a turning point for me seeing Bill as the person I have loved for nearly 40 years made me think until his cancer took hold he was always happy so why should I let myself focus on the few short months when he was ill when I should be focusing on the 38 wonderful years he spend making me happy and giving me 3 wonderful daughters this was the real Bill and I owe it to him to remember him as he really was
I now wake up every morning and smile when I see him smiling down on me looking happy , the smile does not last all day but I have made up my mind that i will try to extend this smile a little longer each day.
I dont know if I will manage this but I am certainly going to try as I know that it will be breaking his heart to see me so sad all the time
I feel so privilaged and blessed to have had so many wonderful years
with this man who was loved by everyone.
HUGS TO EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU CAN ALL FIND SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU SMILE EVEN FOR A LITTLE WHILE
I have been through hell and back and maybe back to hell again since this nightmare began. I spend hours on DS and a few other grief sites, but everytime I get back to the desktop, there is Charlie smiling at me. He keeps me going. When I got a new cell phone I put the same picture on it as the background. He keeps smiling at me no matter what.
I hope you continue to let Bill smile down on you.
Julie
I did the same as you, and had a picture of Greg in the "good' times to wake to every morning. It helped SO much to think of him that way as apposed to the end months. I picture him inh my mind thaqt exact way now...unless I think of the last moments.
I, like you, gave clothing to charity, and know what a huge toll that takes not only in the giving, but the packing...so many memories...so much feeling.
HUGE steps today. BE PROUD of YOU...he is i have no doubt, and KNOW that we ALL are.
HUGS Diane
To anyone who has not yet managed to part with their loved ones things you alone will know when the time is right for you.
I know that we all still have a mountain to climb in dealing with our grief and I wish you all well on your journey
Hugs Pat
I am glad that you are able to smile at all the wonderful memories that you had with Bill over nearly 40 years......It is a HUGE STEP also to focus on the happier times and not just the last few months when he was ill...........yes, we will slide back from time to time but that is all part of the grieving........all we can do is try!!.......hugs