I'm 63 and I went back to work PT at the place that I retired from, with a simple job - no pressure. Before that , ( Jerry died 2 years 6 months ago), I volunteered for Hospice, took a course in financial planning, certified to be a Literacy Volunteer, and went as often as I could to the gym for yoga which I'm really into. I don't feel old (might LOOK old - but inside I don't feel like it's ''Over''). I decided to answer the question of ''what will I do for the rest of my life'' with I DON'T KNOW. I've always been one to have a plan - an agenda - Jerry and I had five year plans. So now, I'm giving myself the luxury of exploring and not being afraid to say I don't know what the future will bring. We never could predict it - so why bother. Live each day like it's my last and smile (the wrinkles don't show so much when you smile) - eat chocolate and don't think about where you are going - concentrate on the now. Now - I will shut up - when you get ''old'', you tend to blab, I've noticed. xoxox Vicki

Darlene,
I think you answered your own question. Your to young to give up on life. I believe happiness can be found at any age. When your ready, reach out to others and you will be surprised what can happen. Find others with common interests and you will be surprised. None of us want to spend the balance of our life alone, but take your time and you will know when it is right for you.
Hugs Dan

I was just 63 when my husband died, Darlene...and my mother said exactly the same thing....I was the wrong age to be widowed ...just for the reasons you described. This, now was seven years ago and I am 70. I cared for my mother for four years, then a relationship with my husbands best friend. We are set in our ways in our sixties in many ways. I loved caring for my mother and indeed, I do feel this did support me very much those first years, though had a very tiring side as well. But I do feel having valued work, however little, is the real BOOST......I work a little for a business I once ran with my husband and that makes me feel I am a little bit of a cog in a wheel again. In some ways I am endeavouring, seven years later, to see myself into the world again, as the aforementioned things with Mum and Johns friend delayed how I am feeling, now I suppose. I do think something truly meaningful is needed for the sixties and seventies, I really do. Volunteer work, but something you very much have a good feeling for, would br brilliant. BUT, you are in such, such very early days and grieving will be so much part of your life just now. To think as you are, going forward, is good and honestly, you CAN. But it will take time. However, even at 70, though I miss still my husband hugely, life is opening up for me, even though I am also getting rather older!! You will never be without him, even though you will always want the real him WITH you and a hotline to heaven, but you CAN do it. A relationship could come in time, you never know, there are plenty of people who have relationships in their sixties. But when grieving it is not such a good idea. That is really why the relationship I had fell apart, he was grieving for his wife, me for my mother, which rather delayed my greiving for my husband. Just be gentle with yourself, allow thoughts and ideas to gradually emerge....my mother was right in some ways, wrong in others, there is time indeed there is to make a fruitful life,but allowance for grieving without too much respnsibility maybe at first? lots of love to you...Cathrynn XXX

Age is just a state of mind. In other words if you feel old you are. I chose to stay young as long as I can. I am soon to be 59. To me that's more like middle age......

I belong to a young widow/widower group for people under 55 - although I think most are just around 55. I'm extremely busy with 2 jobs - but the rest of them do lots of stuff together. Two weeks ago they went to Cancun, Mexico - I think it was 6 or 7 - one guy and 5 or 6 women. They had shots and tequila in the bars and were living like they did 30 years ago - had hilarious stories to tell- wish I had the money to go too. I hope to continue with this group.

My point is this - maybe you can find a widow group near you - or try meetup.com and see if others want to socialize with you. Personally, I have absolutely no desire to date. It is a relatively simple change to life- just new friends. There are probably a lot of people in the same boat - feeling the same way.

I used to go canoeing when I lived in Ohio - haven't done that in years. I'm going to look for new things to do.

Ok so I'm 46 and feel 64 lol, I my self am only 3 months along on this journey.However I have made a list {very short list I may add} of things that I want to do and never had the time.I'm now expanding my circle of friends so I can accomplish things.

How about becoming a substitute in your local schools.I'm not sure about your district but here you pick your own hours and days.That also means you have control over how much money you bring in.

Well I need to go take my arthritis meds and do my stretches.

Good luck and best wishes
Karen

Darlene, I am with you. I lost my husband a year ago and am now struggling to figure things out for myself. I liked standingalone's advice...I think we should just focus on the now and try to live our fullest each day. I wish you the best. Linda

Hello, fellow Boomer. The reason you're not wanting to quilt and play dominos is because that's not part of our generation. I'm 54, but we're both baby boomers. Our generation is more active, something senior homes are already getting ready for. They say we're not interested in bingo and quieter activities. We're a more active, youthful group. We act and look younger than our parents generation. I know of a woman who went to nursing school in her 60s. So, with that in mind, find a group of boomers. There are women's groups such as Redhats. I'm a member but have been to busy to go. I heard they have a ball, traveling and doing things the domino set would never think of doing.

Did you know that doctors have divided old-age into three groups. In one year, when you turn 65, you'll be called the "youngest young".

I am 64 and my husband died suddenly 11 months ago at the age of 63. We had wonderful plans for retirement and I was so happy. I grieve not only for the loss of my lifetime partner but for hopes and dreams that will never be. Since he died I have continued to participate in choir, garden club, and a couple of other organizations. Soon I will be moving 2500 miles away to be close to kids and grandkids, leaving wonderful friends and activities behind. I have no idea what life will have in store for me. Life sometimes takes us places we do not want to go. But I am trying to look on it as an adventure. I hope to continue singing, help with the grandkids, perhaps find a part-time job. I am trying to stay open to whatever life may bring my way.

i am so wiped out a month into this journey that I have no real energy....but....there are a lot of things I hope I can do later.....this will be a totally different life than I had wanted, but........I have wishes, no plans......

I want to raise endowment $ for special programs for the hospital that gave such help for my husband when he and we were in desperate straits...

i would like to write a book.....

I want to garden again.....

I would like to rehab my self after years of caregiving and being last on the list and honor my own life.....

I would like to travel a bit......and visit friends, make some new friends

I'd like to do some volunteer work....

I ran into Ron's cardiologist at Staples today and we had a nice talk and he wondered if later I might want to be on the board for the Palliative Care program at that hospital.....

I find it hard to believe enough energy will return for me to do anything but the basics, but I hope it does......