Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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porkchopcash 10/02/2016

All I want to do is sit and love him. That is the only time that my body doesn't hurt and my head doesn't spinn with dizziness. I hate that the world keeps moving on. I am a teacher. I had to go back to work but I'm not ready. I broke down a couple of times in front of the class last week. I am okay crying with my own children. Not okay crying in front of others. I am lucky that I work in a Catholic School. I told the children that it was meant to be that I would be there teacher during this time and that we would all get through this together in prayer. They have been very loving about it all.

But it hurts that the world keeps moving on. I feel like I am hanging off the side of the side of a cliff. It doesn't seem right for the everything to be as if I had not lost my whole life. I'm trying not to resent it, but I do. It feels so wierd to be doing lesson plans for 4th graders. Trying to think about what you will do in reading for the week when the only thing that is truly running through your mind is he's gone, he's gone, I'm alone now, our little cherished family is forever gone. I wish I didn't have to. I wish that I could just sit here crying and love him.

lori001 10/02/2016

It is very hard to integrate such a huge loss. Most people do not understand how if affects us to our core, and affects our ability to function. In the beginning it's such an alien feeling as the world continues on as if this huge shift didn't happen.....people continue on with their lives, while yours is shattered. Hang in there, it does eventually start to get easier as time goes on. I know it's hard to return to work while you're still grieving, but it's also a blessing to have something to focus on and to have those precious children that continue to give your life a sense of purpose.
Please continue to reach out to us here at Daily Strength, all of us here understand what you're going through. I'm a little over 2 years out, and I can assure you eventually it will become easier to function on a daily basis.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
~ Lori

RachaelF 10/02/2016

I too am having a difficult time concentrating and haven't gone back to work yet.... the pain is so deep, i can understand it...but people i notice continue on with their families, make plans for the weekend and future, and im just left feeling depressed that i don't have that. It's nice to hear that you and your class can pray together and that you feel comfortable expressing yourself in front of them. I look forward to when the days get easier...i really do. Peace be with you.

Prashant 10/02/2016

I feel the same after i lost my spouse couple of days back. No one to really understand you or talk to you. It looks like you have been left all alone. Still integrating the loss as due to trauma many parts have become conflicting inside of you and painful and also unbearable. Feel so lonely and pathetic. Didnt get time to bid my wife goodbye properly. It all happened quickly and too many regrets.

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