Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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tired of this life

AfterMom
AfterMom

I see all the posts about people making progress... it has been 2 yrs & 2 months, and every day is just another forced existence without meaning. The hardest steps are ahead of me, and I have no motive to fight for every inch of ground. my faith is failing and it seems like I am going to quit with the next wave. prayer and another miracle is needed. but my life is not together at all.  What is the point? I do not BELONG anywhere.


I want to just die.? I think something is wrong with me and my brain. antidepressants just barely keep me living. and that is just not enough, at all. it just is Not. people belong in families.

AfterMom
AfterMom
judy and rainbow, than you for posting. It means a lot to me.
It was helpful to pour out my despair here, in this safe forum. I feel much better.
I see a little sunshine through the clouds..
raininseattle
raininseattle
Barb, some of us are still working and we don't have the option to be withdrawn. (I got the impression you stayed at home in a remote area isolated.) Maybe that's a good thing to meet others every day and have a social life. If there is a fear of trying and a fear of regretting you have to pick which one to take - you will be drinking one or the other you know...
Debratini
Debratini
AfterMom, wow, I think I may have said those same words about a thousand times. I feel your pain. It's so hard to live life in the simplest way when your foundation has been blown apart. But know that we all here understand those thoughts. I have tried to deal with this pain in many ways: spending a lot of time with those I love, meditate every day, in the morning when I wake up, I think of all the things I am grateful for (even if it is just having one more day on this earth). You can do this but it critical that you be kind to yourself. Stop the negative self talk, it will crush you. Know that you DO BELONG and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. We understand. Lean on people when you need to, cry when you need to and only do things that make you happy.

Today may be a bad day for you but tomorrow is a new day and you will wake up feeling positive and hopeful. This is what I tell myself every time I have a meltdown that I can't emerge from. Wishing you peace of mind and love
AfterMom
AfterMom
Rainbow27, thank you for replying. I appreciate your personal update, and also the suggestions.
Hearing from others helps all of us so much :-)
geo70
geo70
Uh, yeah, what you said.

If I were not an industrial electrician, raising three kids, I would be on enough med to make it as far as the mailbox.

I had a friend tell me once, "that light at the end of the tunnel, it's a train! "

I am sure he stole the line but that's a perfect picture.