Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Time passes

Lininsocal
Lininsocal

Last Ocober 21st it was 14 years since I lost my husband,  He died swidowed who all came about the same time and uddenly in his sleep at 57 years old.  In an effort to not burden my amily an friends with my grief, one night I googled online support groups and found Daily Strength.  Fore several years this was my life line, the support here helped heal, the ability to anonomusly post my most private thoughts and see others had the same brought me sanity and comfort.  


I haven't been on this site for some years now but I always remember how much it helped me through.  We had a special group of widowed who all joined at about the same time, we became friends and even met in person, we continue on Facebook to stay in touch.  Facebook is open and not a place to really post some thoughts as we live in a deceitful world of predators.  Even after 14 years have passed there is a need to purge my feelings as grief stays with you it seems like forever.  I see older couples together and feel so robbed.  I lay in bed at night and wonder what my life would be like if he were still here and alive.  I imagine his arms around me protecting me from the outside world.  I just miss him.


I watched the Golden Bachelor, a 72 year old widower courting 20 plus older women, all vying for his attention.  Though I miss the companionship of my husband, the void left by him is one that just can't be filled.  God had placed responsibilities in my path to keep me busy.  I have my young granddaugter living with me to raise and also my sister who has Alzheimer's to care for.  It sure isn't the life my husband and I had planned to spend our own golden years doing but I keep busy.  Now, once again, I am in a position where due to these responsibilities, I don't want to burden my family or friends with my grief, it is kind of like my grief over losing my own ability to live out my years with less responsibility but knowing I must do what I am doing.


To all new here, use this venue as a place to heal, find support and friends.  God Bless you and comfort you.  14 years and mostly it is life goes on, just sometimes that valley hits but we move along.

vinlin
vinlin
I know the feelings. I've been widowed for 12 yrs now. I've dated in the past but there was never any spark with any of them. Now I find myself in love with a man who does not love me, or he won't love me. I don't know which it is. Yes, I have anxiety but I am on meds for it. I went to grief group when my husband died and that helped me a lot. I do not know what to do about this situation I am in now. I am now depressed and will be seeing a Dr about next week. I try not to burden my family with it either. I have cried on my sister's shoulder so much I know she gets tired of it. Life goes on but at my age I want to give up. But yet I want one more love in my life.
Lininsocal
Lininsocal
I met a man who I thought was a potential, he turned out to be a real piece of work. I was so disappointed in myself, my lack of judgement and the hurt I felt as a result. Losing my husband was devastating. I am now comfortable in life and do not want hurt or disappointment nor to find someone and be widowed again. Do not waste your time on a relationship that causes you grief. Better to be alone and in charge of your life than to be with someone who makes you feel less of who you are, especially now that you have anxiety about it. I don't know your age but there is always time to have the right one walk into your life. He doesn't seem to be the right one, perhaps you want to be in love. Think about the pros and cons of who he is and is your need to be a partner the real attraction because he doesn't sound worth it...
shelda
shelda
My husband died 7 almost 8 years ago and I know exactly what you mean ,where you say, no one can ever fill that void., The last thing i am looking for is another man. I am doing alright alone and would rather be alone then with someone just for the sake of "not being alone" Because i know that being with someone else you can still be alone and maybe even lonlier.This place has helped me so much as well and the support i have received here was far better then the therapist i went to. I feel robbed too my husband was 63,but i also think about the pain they will have to endure when it happens and i can never go through that ever again. ( hugs)
Lininsocal
Lininsocal
This Daily Strength site was a life saver for so many, it doesn't seem like many are finding their way here anymore. It used to be a busy and supportive group. It's better to be alone and lonely, in control of your own life than to be together and unhappy. That is not to say that there isn't love out there, people are meant to be together. In my experience, the men of age who are worth any attention and few .
LoritaK
LoritaK
Hello….14 years for me also and I believe we were friends back then….
Life has just been devoid of the joy we had and I miss that…..only through the strength of Jesus am I standing…..
Sold our home and moved to WI to be closer to my son and his family…..Norm died unexpectedly but we had discussed what we would do in the event one of us died first…..had just watched The Notebook and he said that he hoped the Lord would allow those who wanted to to die together ….little did we know how quickly things were to change.

Have hit a snag recently….got out all our cards and letters written….4 day marathon of tears……lots of prayers going up and easing the paint…getting a laptop and plan on doing some writing…..
Keep in touch
Lori
Spend a lot of time on the phone….if you ever want to talk, let me know…..
Hugs