my husband and I had our own quaint little *private* cliche: "Time wounds all heels" because well, we discovered some truth. EVERYbody throws these crappy little sayings around (and believes them too) UNTIL life absolutely levels us down to the point that we can actually comfort someone else who has unanswerable questions of their own. and inner Pain. lots of it.
We have to cease thrusting our peachy little swords into others' guts.
and then keep on learning that wounds really hurt a LOT. sometimes for the rest of a life.
Silence is golden. because sometimes someone just needs to be held. and only held.
kindredspirit, it is empty anguish not having the one who shared our whole life history.
to be laughing at shared humor and no one who shared it.
sorry, I was going to try to comfort you. but this is all I got right now.

I know exactly how you feel, I have heard "it gets easier" until I could stab someone. It doesn't get easier at all, I lost my husband almost two years ago as well. And everyday I have to force myself to do every normal everyday things. I offer you hugs and prayers. Just know you aren't alone

My husband died suddenly three years ago in April. Charley was strong, healthy and just fifty years old. One moment he was with me, and the next he was gone. I watched our children fall to their knees in sorrow, and I also watched my mother in law sit silently as if no one was in the room but her.
That night I remember getting up and watching the rain hit the patio door. I remember whispering, “I will never be happy again, and what I remember even more profoundly , is my husband’s laughter wrapped around the words, “of course you will.”
Fast forward three years later, and I am. I have found myself a deeper thinker, a soul searcher, and a women who not only believes in the things that she can physically feel, put a name too, or call familiar. I know now that life is indeed a mystery , and that any road that we are asked to walk, we can do both gracefully and courageously. I have sense remarried, and have found that the heart is capable of endless love. We cannot find ourselves caught up in the terms, “soul mate,” or “love of my life,” for we simply have not lived all of our lives.
I cannot say that there are not days, that my heart doesn’t feel empty or that I would not give all I have to hear his voice one more time. But happily this passes, and I find solace in my knowledge that a part of Charly walks with me every second of every day. Tomorrow my beautiful husband and I are spending the day with my children and my three your granddaughters. My heart is full, and as Charley proclaimed that stormy first night without him, “I am happy.”

No, time doesn't heal all wounds. Time and effort together can though. If we put forth the effort, we can heal. With effort on our part, the wound will scab over with time. Scabs can be itchy and and sometimes irritating. But they are necessary. Examining ourselves, discovering who we are, apart from our spouse and because of them, is like that scab. Cultivating friendships, especially new ones are part of this period too. Through their eyes we learn to see ourselves as individuals. We also learn what the love of friends looks like out on our own. This can be an uncomfortable but very rewarding time. The effort gives us the opportunity to discover what we like, who we are and how we relate to people. We'll make mistakes for sure, but in truth, we always have so we dust ourselves off and try again.
The scab eventually drops off, leaving a scar. It is a reminder of where we've been. We learned a lot there. It's there, so we'll never forget. The pain is no longer raw and we've made it thru that uncomfortable middle ground. In this stage we live this life, our life. The scar fades and becomes a part of us. It'll always be there as we remember the good an pleasant things our life has been and discover that it truly is again. There's still effort at this stage but we've grown because of the work we've done and it becomes so much easier and informs our present and inspires our future.
Peace and ((hugs))
~John

Time doesnt always heal all wounds, but it does help to allow us to accept that, they are not with us physically anymore. Time to some extent does help our souls mend/heal to a degree. Our loves spirits/love will always be with us. It's a matter at first , of a forced thing, making youself get out, and find something to makes you smile, keep us busy, or just give a little peace. Even just something as simple as sitting in the sun watching a butterfly, or bird, fly around, having a cup of your favorite coffee. Then as each day passes you learn to look at the positive aspects of us continuing to live this life alone... now that our loves are passed on. I know it must be so hard, I still have bad days myself. I try to stay positive, and when I'm the saddest, find something to help keep me busy. I wish you peace, and a good day, sometime soon. Much love and hugs carla

Kinredspirit, It will be two years this Wednesday, since Dennis passed suddenly in his sleep from what they call the widow maker heart attack and I found him.. I thought I was doing pretty well, until the last few days, now I find I'm having some sad days again. I think it's just the missing Dennis that really hurts the most, the regrets of what might have been, I don't know. I miss just the simple things our morning coffee conversations, talking about what were going have for dinner, what our daughters and grand kids have been doing, our next house project, he was a great builder..But most of all I miss his beautiful smile, his wicked sense of humor and the love he always showed me and the kids. Don't get me wrong he wasn't perfect and neither am I but we were perfect for each other. When ever I was having a bad day Dennis would always say, "Gail get over it better days are coming" and he was usually right. Fingers crossed.
I and my daughters have had many signs from our skeptic Dennis just letting us know he's around. Just pay attention I'll bet your wife will be sending you some. Music, smells, dreams, lights flickering..ect..
Take care my friend and keep coming here and venting we all know what your going through.
And Happy Birthday...;)

Here is a list of a three books that helped me;

Ever lasting Love..Patrick Mathews..
Forever with You...Patrick Mathews.
Miraculous Messages from Heaven..Chicken Soup for the Soul..

"There are all kinds of Love in this world, but never the same Love twice"..F. Scott Fitzgerald..