Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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lonely60 09/13/2015

Our Grandson who just turned 5 years old and was very close to both Jeanne and I has a very positive out look on Jeanne death. throughout her illness. death and my grief he has been a great inspiration to me. He has never cried a tear for her loss because he feels her with him everyday. Here are some of his comments he has made over the past several months.

When Jeanne was sick she was having a good day he called me over and said Grandpa look at nana isn't she gorgeous

The day before Jeanne died and we brought him to see her for the last time. No one told him she was going to die. He said to his mom please don't cry Nana is going to Heaven and she is going to have a lot of fun there and she will be happy. Grandpa is going to live all alone.

he saw a butterfly the other day and called me over Grandpa look Nana came to visit me, that was followed by a yell I Love You Nana and then a kiss

The other day we were in the pool and he asked me when I was going to get another wife. I told him that I have a wife and he promptly responded that she is dead but lives in our hearts. But he wanted me to have someone to live with me so that I would no be so sad.

Today he pulled on an invisible string which he told me was connected to Nana in Heaven and he just wanted to let know he missed her and loved her but knows she is happy. This was followed by a telephone conversation he had on his play phone with her telling nana that he started Kindergarten, soccer and was going to be in uncle Greg's wedding on Friday.

Through the innocence of a child I can see happiness through this terrible journey we are on. thought I would share a couple of moments that put a smile on my face and let me know that somehow I will be ok and so will my family.

ptorres 09/13/2015

What an insightful young man. You are lucky to have him in your life.

loveddogs 09/13/2015

Lonely 60 I can so relate. Our oldest grand that lives here in town is such a big part of our lives. She was grandpa's girl! I was ok, but when grandpa was here I didn't count. My husband was on at home dialysis for the last 2 1/2 years. I didn't want my dear Lola to be afraid of his condition so we let her help. It was so cute, I'd put a mask on her, hand her the caps as I was hooking up his machine. And she loved carrying the used bags to the bathroom. She wasn't afraid of needles either. While he was in his hopital bed she would sit quietly by his side and read to him. (at five she was reading at a 3rd grade level) Our bedroom is still Grandpa's room. We have had converstaions about him being in Heaven. She knows where he is. She knows he is happy, he doesn't feel sick anymore and he has all those that passed before him with him. She can name each of the pets he is with. And she knows he can walk again and FLY. She was over recently and caught me weeping. I told he I was just missing grandpa. She said Grandma, just send him a text, he will come and visit you. Oh, yes we could take lessons from those little ones. They are truly a blessing. Hugs and Love, Michele

scottito 09/13/2015

How wonderful. We tend to dismiss so much of what little children say as "imagination". Me, I believe for a time they still have their spiritual eyes and ears and remain connected to God. And I've known some who see the angels (especially the babies). Your grandson has a special gift (and what a special gift He is to Grandpa). Sad, but soon he will lose that spiritual connection and innocence as he "grows" out of it. How nice it would be if we could all be as attune as he is now. Truly, you have shared with us some of God's blessings given you to help you through this. God bless you ~ Scott

kgray41 09/13/2015

Thank you for sharing the precious moments of your little one!

JesusisOurSaviour 09/13/2015

Thanks for sharing this, you sound like you're enjoying every moment with your beautiful grandson. I have 7grandchildren (YES,I think I'm boasting) they too, tell their stories of their "Sabby"" they keep him alive in their little hearts, that gives me so much joy.
Aren't we blessed to have grandchildren?
Hugs from Sandra

kkg17 09/13/2015

Such precious, precious grand babies everyone has!
Our little ones really do help us heal; I just love being around mine.

AfterMom 09/13/2015

Childrens' hearts are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Shrn 09/13/2015

My grandmother died when my daughter was about 5. She was close to her great grandma because she lived upstairs from my parents. I explained to her that great grandma had gone to heaven to be with Jesus, but didn't know if she understood until she called me to her room pointing out the window and laughing, "Look, mommy, there's great grandma up in the sky. She's happy and said she would see me again when I go to heaven later. " I've never forgotten that day. Sharon

luvevergreens 09/13/2015

Thank you for sharing. You are so blessed to have such a special child in your life.

saleeby 09/13/2015

thank you for sharing. Children have a way of saying things the we adults cannot and that open honesty and love will give you strength during your journey.

lmj90 09/14/2015

Thank you so much for sharing all of those things. It is amazing how much children feel. They connect with loved ones better than we do as adults. I believe they are more open to the feelings of peace and try to convey that to us. I was talking to my son (17) about his dad one day and I was saying that I was so sorry for the bad times we had over the years and I wish I could say I'm sorry and I loved him one more time just so he would know. After I was finished talking my son said "mom dad knows what he's done in the past and he's sorry, he knows you love him" I have hung on those words everyday because I feel that was somehow a message from my husband

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