Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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MrsLfromTX 01/03/2016

This new year has hit me like a ton of bricks. Last new years I spent alone and this year too, but this year was so much worse and emotional for me.
My husband's birthday was a week before Christmas and I had a small celebration for him with about 8 family and friends here.
It was nice. I talked about him and things he did they didn't know about which showed not only his sense of humor but his incredible strength.

Well I am glad the Holidays are behind us now. Seemed overwhelming.
But I feel my hubby missing in a HUGE way. This is the2nd new year without him though he has been gone for 14 months. He died in October 2014 and missed his birthday and the holidays that year.

I want to get myself into my work, not just my ranch work but my job work.
I hope to have the momentum and motivation. I ask my hubby to help me to come into me with his confidence and know how. His logic and quick wit.
I hope it happens this way.
Happy new year to you all. Hoping this year2016 will be better than last year.

sandeestttn 01/03/2016

Yesterday marked 3 years since my husband was here in our home. He was taken to the hospital, never to return, he died Feb 11th. ALL day yesterday, I smelled him. And last night, and today. Not the end smell, but the healthy smell before he got sick. Sandee

Shrn 01/03/2016

I found the second list of holidays different than the tear-blurred first. The raw pain had turned into an ache that became part of who I am. With the change came good things as well. And yes, at the time, I had to search for anything good in this life forced upon me. Year two for me was more about me and how I would get through it. The getting through the moment had begun to be getting through the rest of my life. Sharon

barbaz 01/03/2016

I am so glad to have found this forum. Mrs.L, like you, I have just gone through the second year of holidays since my husband's sudden and unexpected death in late September 2014. The second year is MUCH harder than the first was, for many reasons. Although the first year's holidays were awful, I had distractions, including financial and legal chores that had to be attended to, as well as comforting my own kids and grandkids through the first stages of their grief, which resulted in me not taking time for my own. Now, everyone is back to their normal lives, and still missing my husband, they are somewhat removed from the immediacy of his death. I still have to deal with the loss of him every single day, and am no longer distracted by errands and chores that seemed so important in the first 6 months after his death. It really is a lonely and contemplative time...

lori001 01/03/2016

This was also my second New Years without my husband. I made it through New Year's Eve okay, having spent it with family and friends, but woke up New Years Day and had a huge cry. It took me by surprise, as my focus was on getting through new years eve, and I hadn't given much thought to how I would feel the next morning. My daughter is home visiting from college, which has been wonderful, but I still woke up early on Jan. 1st and cried my eyes out! It just hit me that I was beginning another year without Larry. Two years now that I have begun without him. The reality and permanence of this new life sometimes feels so overwhelming and sad. I also still feel anxious because I have financial concerns with the loss of Larry's income. I do see all the baby steps I've taken, can see a lot of progress, and know someday it will get better, but it just is such a long process to go through! Wishing you all the best in 2016.
~ Lori

MrsLfromTX 01/03/2016

thanks everyone. I like you Barb, was up to my ears in paperwork.
I think that distraction made things much different then from now.
I guess the shock was still there for me then because I lost my husband in October and then in Dec was his birthday, Christmas & then the New Year .
This was so much more emotional for me.
Today I worked outside all afternoon and on New years Eve.
It rained on New years day so I didn't get much done outside.
Now the normal week begins again tomorrow.
Struggling to get through this enormous life change and I too worry about finances with my husband's income gone.
So much stress sometimes.
I wish you all a good New Year full of sweet dreams and good friends and family.
thank you for your replies.
Letty

dijean 01/04/2016

This New Year has not been good. Husband died Feb 2013, i went to diner and movie with a male friend, that did not go well . It made me miss my old life so much more.
So was in a slump. Today is better, sun shining . Picking myself up, being grateful for what I have. The path will have more bumps but pray it does not linger. Hugs to all who stuggle. Diane

Rainbow27 01/04/2016

It will be two years in March that my husband passed. I also found the second year to be more emotional and challenging. Reality hit that he is gone - forever, and I had to carry on alone. The responsibilities of being all alone with a house, yard, car, financial planning can be overwhelming. I just try and take it day by day and handle what comes up. No family nearby so I feel like a one-woman show half the time. Girlfriends are great but most are still married. This holiday was so different with my immediate family from out of town here for ten days. It was so special and fun. So now back to being alone here and trying not to have a pity party. I feel torn between two worlds - that initial grief stage and now wanting to make a life for myself. Such a rollercoaster. I wish you all peace.....

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