because I still grieve still feel lost and alone and then feel guilty for still having these feelings. But I not only lost my husband but my hopes and dreams we had of our future and my identity as a wife and a person...........I am OK...I survived but sometimes sadness still comes over me in waves.. This is tited HOLD ON...HOLD ON...HOLD ON
In the beginning
and I put no time limit on the length of the "beginning" of your grief journey
because for some it may be weeks
for others it may be months
and for still others, the beginning may be years
but in the "beginning"
very often
the very best you can do is to hold on.

I remember
the days
and weeks
and months after my daughter Erin died
when my mantra was
"Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on."
Some days
some hours
some minutes
it was even hard to hold on to my
Hold on mantra.

I remember the days
and weeks
and months after my wife Trici died
when my mantra remained
Hold on.

And I remember the days
and weeks
and months after my son Rory died
when all I could do was
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.

You are not alone.

If this is where you are
at the beginning of your own grief journey
where it takes all of your energy
and then some
"just" to hold on
try to remember that you are not alone.

When it takes everything out of you
just to breathe.
When you wonder if another breath is even possible.
When you feel yourself slipping away into the darkness.
You are not alone.

There are many
many
many others
who have walked these same steps before you.
There are many others who have risen from the ashes.
You can, too.

You can, too.

But for now, just hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.

Have no expectations.
Someone you love
dearly
has died.
Your job is to breathe.
Just breathe.
Focus on that.

In the days after my wife Trici died
I was so shell-shocked
by the explosiveness of her sudden departure
that I told people my primary goal
each day
was to make sure I moved my eyelashes up and down
and up and down again.
That was the best I could do.
That was all I could do.

When your life has been shattered
in millions of pieces,
you need to take it slow.

So be gentle
with yourself.
Be very
very
gentle.

Rest when you must.

I firmly believe that for many of us,
if we were able to take in
really take in
the enormity of what has happened to us
we would not be able to live.
Literally.
I believe our bodies would shut down.
Our minds would turn off.
Our spirits would take flight.

Our new reality is simply too much to take in all at once.

So
we take it in
little-by-little
detail-by-detail.
Over time.
Lots of time.

And in time,
(lots of it),
in small doses
our new reality begins to sink in.

Someone you love has died.
Your life has changed forever.
Many of your dreams have been shattered.

And for now,
the best you can do is hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

You are not alone.

Now that you know, share with other.
There's a new way to do grief.