Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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This is greif

aloneishard
aloneishard
Greif is the remaining pieces of a life I once had. Greif is relentless; it is made up of every nuisance of my being. Nuisances I didnt even know existed till now. I get to discover them one by one day by day and on a schedule not of my choosing. Sometimes I do see them coming and deal with it the best I can, other times it is akin to getting blindsided by a freight train. I was in Wal-Mart recently, needed an anniversary card for a relative. The freight train arrived when I realized I could never pick out another card for my wife ever again. I do feel it helps me when I write it down. It forces me to examine what is going on, and that forces me think more clearly. That said I am sharing my thoughts.
coffeeforme
coffeeforme
So well said, Alone. Today I realized that the basic question/issue I have is "how can this be?"
barbarame
barbarame
In the fullness of time it DOES become easier to cope, Accept that you are a fully functional, stand alone person ( Remember before you met your love?) Yes there WAS such a time - then someone came to be your companion for a while, then your companion had to take a fork in the road....you can and will continue your journey, until it too, changes direction and you are reunited. Live every experience that comes your way, so that you can also enjoy some good times!
marysch
marysch
I know all about alone..I face it everyday when I wake up and think "oh no another day I have to get through and what am I gonna do to help it pass." As you know I just passed the year mark and the day itself was no different than it has been recently. Same sad feelings, same anxiety about the future, same feelings of how unfair this is to all of us. So many couples out there and so few of us. I'm just a little more numb., more resigned to it all.....mostly I'm just tired of the constant mental anguish. My best to you and all of us struggling
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand your feeling completely, my husband (passed 11/2013) was a smoker a few weeks ago I saw a pack of Marlboro lights under his desk. For some reason it hit be like an emotional brick. Idk why he smoked them for the 13 years we spent together and I never once looked at the gold and white little box the way I did that day. I felt ridiculous, sitting in his 1/2 packed office, crying over an empty cigarette box. Your not alone.
Jamie W.
deleted_user
deleted_user
After joining DS I started writing a private journal at home-something I never thought I would do! But it does help to express myself if only on paper. I hear so much about in time (and I know it will become more tolerable) I think it will show me how I progress and yes meltdown, fall down and then get back up.

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, odd how we deal with big things and it's the little things that really seem so much to us. I've always been like that but now it is more intense.
chipstears
chipstears
yeah the freight train catches me just about the time I think I'm starting to settle. It's one year today for me. it always seems to be the little things that tip me upside down. chipstears
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
I come apart also when in a store. Had to leave a store last week because passing the men's department a flood of memories just burst forth. Some days I just feel like I will never be the same again. My best friend in the world is gone. We were a private couple but all our friends loved the way we interacted and made each other first priority. Now I am struggling. Joined another class, volunteer, keep busy but in my heart know I had the love of my life -- so what now.
sassiesoftail
sassiesoftail
It is also very hard for me to buy cards. Through the years I had always chosen cards the said for both of us. Now there is just one of us. Also buying cards for his parents. There aren't many for in-law cards out there. Usually I stand there and cry for a few minutes befor I can gather myself to pick out a card.
Hugs, Sandi