Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 02/13/2011

I realized that in many posts lonely is in almost every one.

Whenever I get upset, angry, frustrated, sad, crying it all is wrapped around something happening that I am facing ALONE.
Its the alone part that gets me. Having that someone else there to share and take some of the burden off when things go wrong
even things that are happy there is no one to share with. Yeah I know my kids I can call and share but not having that person right here right now to share with makes all that goes wrong just more devastating that it probably is or needs to be.

I rethought the widow word & I agree now with one of the posts
married or single I would rather put in widow also. Never thought of that before. And than I thought being a widow shows I had someone, and did not let them go willingly.

IClaimTheCross 02/13/2011

Well said.....
"I had someone, and did not let them go willingly."
Another word that bothers me is Spinster, Who, thought that one up??? Makes a woman who never marry's sound dastardly!

deleted_user 02/13/2011

yeah - the ''I had something'' thought is something I have to keep remembering. I've been going through old letters, pictures, albums and all the events that were important in our lives - even plaques and awards and I think - nobody cares but me. What do you do with that?

deleted_user 02/14/2011

Yes "I had someone, and did not let them go willingly." is totally a great way of putting it!! We didn't have a choice and neither did our loved ones.

deleted_user 02/14/2011

Me too. Good post and good replies,

deleted_user 02/14/2011

So well put! For me its not having someone near to bounce opinions off of. Decisions are so hard to make now, feeling so unsure of myself without Roy's input. I too had someone once and hate putting single or widowed down when asked...I AM still married, he is just in another place and we WILL be together again. Right now God has other work for me here, I have to finish raising our 8 year old son. Its a huge blessing and quite a burden too. I have never been a single mom before. We raised our other seven together. I need his input on how to get through this. I feel so alone!

deleted_user 02/14/2011

I just want to thank EVERYONE here. I only joined yesterday but already feel at home. At least there is a place now where I can dump my feelings and thoughts without stuffing it all inside. You all are a blessing to me this lonely Valentines day. I pray you get through this with only minor pain. I am really hating holidays but Have to keep up a front for my 8 yr old son.

deleted_user 02/14/2011

Two of my 3 kids stopped by after being at a Valentine dinner at church. They had my grandchildren with them. I gave them all little valentine gifts and the children played with each other the couples visited and I watched. I loved having them all here watching them be happy but my heart still ached for what I lost.

deleted_user 02/14/2011

Lonely. Such a small word, such an overwhelming feeling.
You put it so well "I had someone, and did not let them go willingly". Today, a day dedicated to couples, makes the loneliness so much harder to bear.

deleted_user 02/14/2011

I'm new here, widowed since March 30, 2010. Today is a tough one and our anniversary is coming up on the 27th. Yes, I had someone and did not let them go willingly. And I miss him, my lover, my companion who shares *everything* with me, my companion. My son had me over for dinner yesterday. Still, it all seems so lonely. And that is a word I now despise with a passion. It's good to be here where there are others who share my experience.

lovelos 02/14/2011

I agree with you, we did have someone, someone who was the center of our life, Hugs Lu Ann

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