What if's will haunt you and they aren't worth the effort, they change nothing.. My husband died 3 months ago, leaving the doctor's office after his 1 week visit after having heart surgery. He got into the truck sat there a moment got out and leaned over the seat. Said, "call an ambulence" I said" we're just next door I can drive you there quicker get into the truck" he said "I can't" and fell out on the ground. I had the "what if's" and you have to know we do our best at that moment. Please just let it go, you did your best, it was't up to you when his time came.
I am so sorry for your loss. But none of it is your fault..

I am so sorry for your loss. You did everything right and nothing wrong here..you were bringing him to the hospital and you did everything you could.

Sadly since the loss of my wife last year, i have done a lot of reading on "cardiac events" which is what she had...you cannot blame yourself for not being able to stop something that often cannot be stopped even when the patient is already in a hospital..

please be gentle with yourself, it is very easy and common to feel like this.

You did nothing wrong

I did the What ifs like crazy about my husband, and all it did was make it harder to grieve the way i needed too only lately have i stopped doing it and its been 2 years and 5 months. You cant do that to yourself, God is in control. Its not your fault! I hope youll be able to believe that soon. Lots of hugs to you!

I'm so sorry for your loss...
and I'm STILL doing the 'what if's' since my husband passed away due to liver failure on March 19 of this year. What if I had got him to the doctor earlier? What if I had noticed the signs before it was too late?
You did what you could...again, I'm very sorry for your loss...I know how painful it is.

I am sorry for your loss. My husband was in CCU when he went into Sudden Cardiac Arrest. Didn't change the ending.

Oh Angie~
I'm so sorry you lost your husband. And you're certainly not alone in being haunted by those "what if" questions. But, as hard as it is to do, I think it's important to let go of those regrets. We're only human and there's no way we can ever know what might have happened. It will just drive you crazy. But I realize that's easier said than done. So, perhaps you may want to think about talking with a therapist and working through these emotions you're experiencing. Or maybe find a local grief support group? I know GriefShare does ones throughout the U.S. Just a thought. But, in the meantime, you'll definitely be in my prayers, friend. Hang in there...

#girlluvs2garden#

Angie, my husband to passed from heart attach suddenly in the middle of the night. He had just turned 43. My son and I also performed cpr until the paramedics arrived. All to no avail. I also have and still do go through the what ifs. I don't think I did cpr correct or hard enough to help. I should have woke up sooner. What is 911 got there sooner to help. I should have insisted to have his heart checked on his last dr's visit. I have been down this road so many times. I felt and sometimes do still feel like its my fault! I have been down this road a thousand times.It has only been 7 weeks for me. Your at the beginning. Its hard to not have those thoughts. But like ramar said, they will haunt you and they will consume you. You have to try as hard as you can to not think like that. The aren't worth the effort. And they change nothing. I know that's easier said then done but I have had to work hard at not having those thoughts. And don't get me wrong, I still get them. Just not as often and not as intense. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you!

The "what if's" plague many of us. My husband was 6 years free of lymphoma and didn't go for his 5 year checkup. We had sold our home and were downsizing. We just never thought of it. The doctors assured me that had he went the results would have been the same.

I had to accept that this was not in my control, or his. Sharon

Thank you all. At least I know I'm not alone.