I'm so sorry for your pain. I've tried so many different things over the years. This year has been my hardest to keep moving forward. To hold on to small happiness and enjoy them. I know we can do it. I'm sure it's just part of the journey. But boy some days just like u say the naps call my name the sitting with nothing in my mind or body to move forward. Those are the really hard times. Please keep pushing forward. Know you are not alone in feelings these things. Hugs

Am wondering if there's a craft that might interest you? Coloring has certainly taken off as of late. There are different styles carried in many stores. I don't know if you have Michael's or JoAnn's, whatever, just see what crafts they carry, maybe you'll find something you like!! Use that for your walk, instead of the mall???
Before or after your nap, plan something!! Loneliness, yes, I feel it more during the winter. If the weather permits, I go out, even if it's just to walk the mall.

"I can rest upon His assurance that His grace will see me through every storm"

I'm on Celexa and Wellbutrin. I've had to have them adjusted a few times until they worked. I also take Mirtazapine for sleep. It'll be 18 months Thursday since DH passed and I've been on them a month after it. Please don't feel that if you need them for more than a short time as you said that you're broken and can't be fixed. Losing a spouse is huge and there's no set time limit for grieving. Sending big hugs!

All of you are my lifeline. I pray for all of you daily and then i feel better. My Dr is so kind. Shes wonderful too. Am seeing the good again in people but sometimes when i read all these angry outbursts from people it sends me right back down the proverbial hole. I am like a child it seems as though. His death still has me in circles,I depended on him for too much. Sending Rays of light and Hope and Peace and Love to All of you . Thank you all for being You !!! (( Hugs ))

I have been reading up on nutrition and saw a integrated dr (usually has a naturopathic dr on staff) last fall due to many issues which I won't go into. I had an adrenal saliva test which shows if your cortisol is high, something which happens when suffering from grief, etc. It turned out my cortisol was very high in the afternoon and also at 4 am which can cause anxiety and your mind constantly churning. I joined an adrenal support group on Facebook and they suggested Holy Basil which is good for anxiety. It comes in tea form made out of the leaves and it is called Tulsi tea, which I think is sold in health food stores. I haven't tried it yet but I thought this might give you some food for thought. ((Hugs))

Shelda, I went to the doctor almost five months after Dennis transitioned, at the insistence of my daughters they made me the appointment..I wish I had gone sooner Clonazepam. for anxiety, I only took one every week or two, because they seemed to last.. Anxiety was the worst for me.. and Duloxetine (generic Cymbalta) which takes about a good month to fully kick in..I'm at 20 months since loosing Dennis, suddenly to a heart attack in his sleep..I have never taken anything more than Advil...I now take nothing...Do be too proud to ask for help...I don't have an additive personality, so it was easy for me to stop..Just ask your what is best for you..I was also fortunate to have good family support...
Believe me it does get easier, you still miss them and life becomes a new kind of normal..
I know you said you have been through this before, Shelda..Take care of you first and don't let others tell you how you should feel and wants best for you..
Peace and hugs...Gail...

When someone you Love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a Treasurer...;-)

Sometimes medication is a good answer, and it does not have to be a forever kind of thing. A lot of us here have had to deal with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, and often those need medication to be dealt with effectively. The medication can help get you back to a balance where you can then address the other issues in your life. Perhaps you will need to stay with it, perhaps not, but it's good you recognised you needed to do something about it and talked with your doctor.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Have exhibited signs of insanity myself. Actually, I have a much deeper understanding of the paralysis that grief has caused in others I have known.
Also, I 'get' why some of my friends have turned to substance abuse, just to stop hurting. It's the kind of pain that sharing with friends and family just doesn't seem to help because eventually, we have to face the darkness alone.
Truly, I am grateful that I have never had access to drugs and have no affinity for alcohol. Although my prayers seem very empty now, I have made the choice to continue in the Word and speaking to my heavenly father. None of these things are because I have any strength in myself; they are only a result of habits created in easier times.

The Comforter lives in me and I still have hope that His reality will overflow my empty soul.

Would hold your hand if I could.

I wish you could do but in my heart I feel this love and compassion :) When i am alone where ever i am i think of all of you and how you make me feel like i am worth it. It is Working a little more some days and others..but am going to continue this. Your All special to Me. Hugs to Everyone and never forget the Prayers as it is also whats keeping me grounded.