Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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The problem with moving

Truhal
Truhal
I'm moving just two months after losing my husband. It's hard. Every item holds a memory. My husband was a pack rat. Stuff going back decades all sitting in boxes. Some are treasures: yearbooks, old pictures, etc. Some just stuff he didn't have time to dispose of . It all so sad because it's like throwing away dreams.

I just got rid of his shirts. They were a little worn so I didn't think they were a good candidate for good will, but I thought of the hours I spent washing them, hanging them in the closet just so. It was like throwing away an old friend. The feelings were so unexpected.

I am again asking God to carry me yet again.
pathoflife
pathoflife
Truhal,

You have had so much to face in such a short time. The only words of comfort that come to mind in answer to your last sentence, 'And He will, again and again, forever.' TJ
deleted_user
deleted_user
And He will carry you .....I have no doubt...just had the most amazing evening..........will post about it maybe tomorrow.........am really tired ........been gone all day...............
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Tru, I know what you mean. The simplest things carry so many memories. Sandra, who also moved recently, gave me some advice I have found helpful, which is to photograph things before you get rid of them. I'm moving in a month, and have been offloading and downsizing since Cliff died, and a lot of things have been so hard to let go. Some it was easy, but some carried such memories...

I will keep you in my prayers. We will get through this.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do think taking pictures helps you to release things that you really don't need. I find that if you keep things a lot of times thinking you will go back and look at them, the items mostly sit in the boxes.

By taking pictures, you can easily look at the things you want to remember but couldn't keep.

Also, you can take pictures of places that you want to remember. My husband was a carpenter in his second career and did so much remodeling/repair/building in our home. I took a lot of pictures of those things that I am planning to put into an album and write captions explaining the pictures. Maybe no one else will care for these but I am doing them for me.

Good luck in this sad part of your grieving process.
jerseydebbie
jerseydebbie
I found that I couldn't part with "everything", so I compensated by keeping a few of what I felt were his favorites. Basically I have taken over his side of the closet too, but there is a reserved section of him. I can't imagine ever opening that closet door and not seeing him. - Debbie
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hugs to you - this is so soon and so sweeping a change and so brutal - I'm sorry you're going through this. Even if family and friends can come and help you sort through now and then, you're mostly going to be on your own with it.

Gail
murphy98
murphy98
I'm also moving just 2 months after my husband's move & am having such a difficult time. My family has had to help me pack up just about everything, because I have been so depressed to leave the memories of him behind in this house...

I have also tried to downside, but my mother doesn't understand why I want to keep his things, like his t-shirts (which I can wear), his dress shirts, which our son can wear one day...and so much other things. The pictures of our happiest times help so much because he was in such pain during his last few years.

Everyday continues to be a struggle & I just keep doing what I can to cope w/o him.