Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Got into a conversation with one of my co-workers the other day, and of course it got me thinking. You see, her son is going through a devastating divorce(this after only two months of marriage). The divorce was not his idea and he's suffering along with the rest of his family. The woman did not marry him for love but for other reasons that are no longer pertinent to her.
Thinking of how devastated he is, his mother said that a divorce is more painful than being widowed because you lost the person and were rejected at the same time. I didn't take offence or tell her she'd never been a widow because it's possible that both are just as devastating.
Let me tell you that I was divorced twice, so I know how it feels. The divorce was my idea and I was quite happy with the decison. I'm not talking about a divorce under these circumstances. I'm talking one where a person desperately loves their spouse and the spouse comes in one day and tells them that they don't want to be married and that they no longer love them. Maybe this person even goes off with someone else, closing the possiblity of a reunion in the future. How horrible that must be to have something like that happen.
Would such a person be as devastated as we are? Would it even be worse than what we're going through?
I'm interested in your opinion.
Thinking of how devastated he is, his mother said that a divorce is more painful than being widowed because you lost the person and were rejected at the same time. I didn't take offence or tell her she'd never been a widow because it's possible that both are just as devastating.
Let me tell you that I was divorced twice, so I know how it feels. The divorce was my idea and I was quite happy with the decison. I'm not talking about a divorce under these circumstances. I'm talking one where a person desperately loves their spouse and the spouse comes in one day and tells them that they don't want to be married and that they no longer love them. Maybe this person even goes off with someone else, closing the possiblity of a reunion in the future. How horrible that must be to have something like that happen.
Would such a person be as devastated as we are? Would it even be worse than what we're going through?
I'm interested in your opinion.
Also, wanted to "clue" them in on the financial side of death v. divorce...
NO alimony
No Insurance,
No child support,
No one to split the cost of medical, dental, eye care and extra curricular activities,
No one to split the accumulated debt with,
No weekends or summers off... It's all you, all the time...
When your spouse leaves you because of divorce, you feel like you can move on, when they leave you because of death, you don't feel like you CAN move on...