Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband had a sudden anuerysm. Four months later my cousin died of a sudden heart attack. There people who've died of strokes that are close to me. So the question I had for many months was what did they think in the final moments? Were they afraid? Did they know what was happening? Afterall, one moment they were fine and the next they were in crisis.
I now have my answer. It's taken a week for me to write about it.
Last week I was at work. I was walking around feeling pretty well. About a half hour before, though, I felt like I wasn't breathing normally. I was breathing more from my chest.
Then it happened. I was talking to someone when suddenly everything around me started spinning. Then I couldn't walk normally, but somehow made my way to a chair and sat down. I remember thinking that it was a stroke, and yelling out to a coworker to dial 911. The spinning grew worse and I asked that they check me for a stroke, holding my hands out to see if they were straight(yet I couldn't see my hands). I asked them to see if my smile was straight too. I remember hearing the woman telling the emergency responder that I thought I was having a stroke. Maybe that's why they got there so fast.
The EMT's asked me to do the same stroke test, then hustled me onto a gurney. I couldn't really see anyone, couldn't get myself to the gurney, but they assisted me.
In all that time I thought I was having a stroke, so I called out my emergency contact numbers during this entire episode. I did so fast because your ability to think diminishes during a stroke. You may become confused, unable to talk, unable to even dial a number on the telephone.
I'm alright, but looking back I realized I was not afraid during the entire thing. I thought only of my loved ones, and getting word to them. I thought of my bird and who would feed him. If I'd died at that moment I wouldn't have felt fear. In fact a since of calmness fell over me.
I did think about what I would be like if I survived. If it had been a stroke everything could have changed. But I also knew that the faster I made it to the hospital, the less likely I would experience great lasting affect.
Anyhow, now that I've gone through this myself, I realize that my husband probably wondered what was going on and so did my cousin. But fear? No. They went peacefully as I think all who are dying will do and have done.
Tru
I now have my answer. It's taken a week for me to write about it.
Last week I was at work. I was walking around feeling pretty well. About a half hour before, though, I felt like I wasn't breathing normally. I was breathing more from my chest.
Then it happened. I was talking to someone when suddenly everything around me started spinning. Then I couldn't walk normally, but somehow made my way to a chair and sat down. I remember thinking that it was a stroke, and yelling out to a coworker to dial 911. The spinning grew worse and I asked that they check me for a stroke, holding my hands out to see if they were straight(yet I couldn't see my hands). I asked them to see if my smile was straight too. I remember hearing the woman telling the emergency responder that I thought I was having a stroke. Maybe that's why they got there so fast.
The EMT's asked me to do the same stroke test, then hustled me onto a gurney. I couldn't really see anyone, couldn't get myself to the gurney, but they assisted me.
In all that time I thought I was having a stroke, so I called out my emergency contact numbers during this entire episode. I did so fast because your ability to think diminishes during a stroke. You may become confused, unable to talk, unable to even dial a number on the telephone.
I'm alright, but looking back I realized I was not afraid during the entire thing. I thought only of my loved ones, and getting word to them. I thought of my bird and who would feed him. If I'd died at that moment I wouldn't have felt fear. In fact a since of calmness fell over me.
I did think about what I would be like if I survived. If it had been a stroke everything could have changed. But I also knew that the faster I made it to the hospital, the less likely I would experience great lasting affect.
Anyhow, now that I've gone through this myself, I realize that my husband probably wondered what was going on and so did my cousin. But fear? No. They went peacefully as I think all who are dying will do and have done.
Tru
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Yours is a very thought provoking post!
Lu Ann
I don't think it is the same for everybody. It would be nice to just be confused for a moment or two and then wake up in heaven, but I don't think it's like that for everybody.
Carla
Hugs
My Joe died of sudden cardiac arrest. He was standing and suddenly fell face first and hit the floor and quit breathing. The Dr. said the left ventricle of his heart simply exploded and he was gone. He may have been hurting before, but, if so, didn't show it. He was gone so quickly that I don't see how he could have had time to think or feel anything.
Maggie
I wanted an autopsy; the coroner said, "Oh, he had a heart attack!" I asked him how he knew....if he was God...
My "gut" tells me it was an aneurism. His dad passed of one, and Gerald was prone to migraine headaches. His mother said she and his dad were going for their daily walk, holding hands. He let go of her hand, grabbed his head, said, "Oh!"...and dropped. THAT coroner said, "He was dead before he hit the ground".
The fact that I have no closure on what happened to Gerald is haunting me, but part of me, the spiritual part, said he didn't suffer, and went quickly.
~~Corri