Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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hiskim 05/04/2015

Let me start by telling you that I suffer from fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. I used to be a gardener, who was even on a couple of tours. I was that good. Over the last several years I haven't been able to take care of my gardens. They look deserted, and I'm more than aware of that. They started to look bad long before Don got sick... So the other day my neighbor say's to me, " Now you'll have time to work in your yard". It makes me sick, and wary of what people will say to me. Let alone what they think of me. If I had the money, any money, I'd run far far away. Sigh.

n8vgrl 05/05/2015

I'm hearing some of those 'well meaning' comments by people who do not really understand. I suppose we must sigh and figure that they mean well but it's hard. When mine died I received a message from a coworker whom I feel is mean spirited; she said, "I was really looking forward to watching you learn how to be happy". Hunh? I don't even know what to do with that information. I had always been a cheerful person....until now. I see my late fiance' in every bird, flower and star. Nature has always been my 'go to'. You must have been an incredible gardener to have been in shows. Wow! Hugs to you!

n8vgrl 05/05/2015

Oh and please let me know when the kicking of the neighbor shall begin; I'd like to give him one too for ya.

dschwartz 05/05/2015

I still have one good kicking leg if someone will hold me up, I'll gladly give your neighbor a swift kick! He sounds like a real nut job.

Kim . . so sorry that you are unable to garden as you used to. This must be very difficult as in accepting yet another loss that was such a part of you and your life. I will pray that some strength returns so you may continue to garden a bit. My heart goes out to you.

My bags can be packed asap . . . count me in on the run-away plan!!

Round of hugs to all, Dayna

matoacalady 05/05/2015

I think we all want to run......I don't have much to pack, but I have my furbabies to take care of.

People can be such thoughtless jerks. My lawn has some grass and some weeds...hey, they ARE green. I cannot do outside work any longer due to asthma, but I had lovely gardens and potted flowers and could work outside for hours.

I figure the fact that I get up and everyone fed is a good thing. I do what I can and just let the other stuff go.

Hugs
Jen

michaelbmanning 05/05/2015

I have had complaints from a neighbor that only comes outside to complain. There is not one flower in my yard and before the widow train arrived mowing the lawn was a task assigned to whoever had time before we got a ticket. I just drive the lawn tractor around and hope I cut down some of the grass. I am waiting for my oldest kid to be what I consider old enough to take this on.

Maggie

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