Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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The days don't get easier

oakridge6
oakridge6
The ache in the center of my chest seems to deepen with each passing day. I seem to literally, as well as figuratively, have a broken heart. The numbness that fell over me the first couple of weeks after Gary died has lifted to only leave unending pain. I'm afraid, yet not, of what this grief is doing to me.

I have a list of things that I need to work on. A dear friend from out of state came to stay with me for 10 days after Gary died and helped me compile a list of things that needed to be done before winter sets in. The list remains undone. I don't seem to have the mental capacity to figure out a starting point on any of the tasks.

Looking for help, too emotional to make sense even to myself most days. Thanks for listening.
jerseydebbie
jerseydebbie
I don't know how long your husband has been gone, but what you are going through is normal. My husband passed 2-1/2 years ago, and I still have that ache or pain in my chest, often accompanied by anxiety.

As time goes by, you will automatically start doing those tasks that sit in front of you. Cry when you want to, and talk to God. It helps
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also can relate.... I have over 10.000 dollars worth of Computer. and at lst 5.000 dollars for a just sewing class.... just sitting there taking up space.... begause I can't function most days.... if this were a paying position I'd be fired! Wish I could of been more positive.... kow that there are other you share your pain! I don't believe it gets esier.... just for me.... I believe It gets different!Blessings!
doyew
doyew
You are still early in the "grief journey" and many refer to those days as "foggy." Indeed, they are. You have suffered the biggest loss of your life, and it is still hard to comprehend. That pain you feel, I refer to as "searing pain" -- it is the worst I have felt. Focusing on anything is difficult -- so don't think of your whole list of needs at once. Pick one thing from the list and set that as a goal. When it is completed, choose one more. If some of these winterizing chores require a man's help -- do you have relatives, neighbors or friends who might help? Don't hesitate to ask -- people want to help, but don't know how usually.

Try to take one day at a time. Don't look ahead too far. I lost my husband 3 yrs. ago to leukemia. I don't feel "great" but "much better". I try to count my blessings each day and accept the fact that there will always be a "hole" in my heart where Frank was. We believed in God and that we would see each other again someday. This is a comfort.
Wishing you peaceful days - Doye
cleodoggie
cleodoggie
You are still at the beginning of your grief journey. Be gentle on yourself. It will get better I am proof of that. At 2 1/2 years I am moving forward with my life. The pain is pretty much gone. I do have my days but most are much better than at first. Everyone is different but it took me two years to feel better. Find yourself a grief support group and go to it faithfully. It helps and maybe you will make a good friend like I did. Drink plenty of water, eat properly and get plenty of rest. If you find you can't sleep see your doctor. Big Hugs to you