Morita.. there is no clear cut good/bad answer. I knew I just couldn't keep going into our closet, seeing all his clothes, seeing him wearing them all, and that he would no longer change into any of them, killed me, so my friend made me a quilt blanket, it might be an idea, to see if someone would do that for me. when you are ready, and in your own time, you will figure out what you want to do. Don't rush it, that way you don't do something hastedly and then regret it, later. much love and gentle hugs, carla

Like some here i donated most of Larry's things about a month after he died.I still have a few items of clothing. Do what feels right. As i slowly remake our home into my home i realize all that is truly here are the memories of 40 years,Hugs Patti

I have just passed the year mark, and am going to have to start going through boxes of his things.
I managed to go through the bulk of his clothes in his closet at about 6 months, which I did with one of my boys. Just 'recycled' ratty t-shirts and anything that I figured wouldn't stand the test of time. The rest, possibly useful stuff, I'm saving for when my boys are older (right now they are 7 and 16). We had quite a few big suitcases, so I filled them, and they are in storage for the future.
There are still a few items here & there, which I occasionally come across. I'll have to box them up too.
I couldn't bear to wash everything, so they are 'as is'. There is an almost new bottle of his cologne. I at first was going to let my oldest use it, but the smell of it instantly sets me to tears.
Like someone else here, I moved to a new apartment while he was hospitalised, so thankfully, the ghost of him isn't around every corner. I'm glad, especially for my sons.

Sometimes I wonder if keeping his clothing and personal articles is my way of hanging onto him and that maybe it would be better to just let go of it all. Maybe starting over with no physical reminders is less painful in the long run. I hate not knowing what to do. I think whatever I do I am probably going to beat myself up with guilt. I guess I am not ready to do anything right now.

Do nothing for now. It's 2 years since Morey's gone and I still have not even looked into boxes that he placed in our walk-in closet. I don't want to look in them. So, I ask my kids to pull them out and then I ask them to push them back, without even opening them! Done!

Roz

I just had another thought. It is sometimes a good idea to donate in a community away from your own. Anyone that receives your loved ones clothes will be the same size/shape of your loved one. It would be heart jolting to meet those clothes worn by someone even slightly resembling your loved one. It happened to me with my brothers clothes 45 years ago. I was devestated. Hugs ~ Bailey ~

Roz, you kind of sound like me! I just can't handle it. Sorry about Morey.. Bailey, wow. I never thought about the idea of seeing Dan's clothes on someone in town. What bad experience. Dropping off clothes in another community is a good idea when I am ready. Thanks!

Ok, so I have a story to tell. For the first time in like 20 years, after selling my business, I could actually go to yard sales. I went to one - the young woman there told me her father (police officer) had been shot on duty, and thus the yard sale. I talked with her for a long while, and I bought 4 flannel shirts (I'm skinny, but have like orangutan arms so I like men's clothes). And when I put one of those shirts on, I think of him. I like to think that whoever buys Joe's jeans, or shirts, it's like a little of him going on. Does that sound weird? It makes me feel good, though.

Morita, take your time. I've gone through Joe's stuff in increments over the years. I purge when I'm ready, and there's stuff I'll probably never get rid of. I'm good with it. Just please - don't put any pressure on yourself. There is no rush. Marsha

I actually went through her side of the closet last week end. It was very emotional so many things with such great memories, lots of smiling and sobbing for me. I put almost all of her clothes in big plastic containers for now and gave each of my sisters and mom a t-shirt. I will donate in time but would love for her freinds to browse through and take something. There are about 15 things I have to keep, most of it night clothes, couple t shirts and couple of her favorite sweatshirts. Please take your time and do it when you're ready.

GarryK. So sorry for your loss and for the bittersweet emotions you went through when you cleaned her side of the closet. I am sure she would love your ideas of how to handle this job. I don't have the fortitude to do that yet, but at least you have explained what I might be going through. Thank you for your comment.

Morita, very sorry for your loss. My husband would only wear zip up hoodies and tea shirts and jeans . He did owned a couple of nice slacks and 3 beautiful suits. He was buried in one of them. I took over his hoodies and packed up the rest in his old military bag and stuffed it away in the closet. I placed his personal things like cologne and hairbrush in my drawer, (his hair is still on the brush). I can not part with it yet, to soon for me. He died 10/18/2015 from lung cancer. What's worse for me are his favorite music cd's. His tools and every piece of paper with his hand writing. Someday I will have to part with all this, but not ready yet.
Much love to you!

Oh Meggy, I am so sorry for your recent loss. I felt a pang in my heart when you mentioned the CDs, hairbrush and papers w/his handwriting.. I have to tell myself over and over and over that it will be ok when I see things in or out of the house that trigger the loss. It's a hard journey for sure, but you are not alone. I think most of the people on this site have kept items that give them some measure of comfort. If these items give you comfort and a little bit of him it's a good thing. Like I said, I wear his robe at some point every day.. Hugs to you. Margie :)

I'm past 9 months and haven't gone through his closet.

Whenever you feel you are comfortable in parting with his clothes. It took me a year. At seven months I wrapped my arms around his clothes and cried. One day my daughter helped me take his clothes to a pre-Father's Day give away at our church for those who needed a helping hand. My cousin's husband has been gone for nine years and they are still in one of her closets. It is your decision and yours alone. Praying for you.

Bailey,,,a friend of mine a few years ago donated his wires clothes to a local shelter (storefront) ..A few weeks later his adult son passed the storefront and saw his mothers dress on a mannequin in the window,,,needless to say he was heartbroken,,,so,,it is wise to donate to shelters away from your hometown.