Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I want to tank all of you who have sent me "Hugs" and messages. I am posting this because I am up and down ten 12 times a night with Kathy. As she just will not use the bedside chair Each time is 4 times up and down.
To the question " do you have support?" ... A little. But Kathy and I were very controversial people. We stood by those no one else would stand by... Especially those who were unfairly condemned. It did not make us very popular. On the other hand we have friends that are as good as they come. Unfortunately we did our work from Memphis To Miami.
The local people for the most part do not like what we do. We are in an area that would be considered Klanish. The Churches follow suit. When I say Klanish I mean literally Card Carrying Klan. One of our people was the AME Church... So it is spread that we "do not believe in God" etc. What we stood our ground on was " We do not support and will not tolerate the name of God or the church to be used to spread hate and fear.
It all was going pretty well and our notions were growing until Kathy became very ill.
So we are controversial people... But in our book. Those who have a problem with our forgive our enemies and love our neighbors should be the ones seen as controversial.
To the minority of every race and creed that do support us we are seen as heroes... But it is a very small fan club.
I do not know what comes next... I am in solitude here on the river now for over a week.. Before that we had a traumatic 2.5 weeks in a Hospice that we later found had a bad reputation. The Hospice we are working with now seems very nice. But We ?I am having to yet again re establish my routine. and my small business is suffering.
I know as soon as I get this new routine going I will them become one of Y'all.
But I have to stand up. The adversaries kathy and I took on are the two most powerful and secretive lobby organizations in the USA and thus the world. One if I fail kathy's sacrifices will all be for nothing. Two they will wipe me off of the planet. Three. It is and has been my life's mission for over 30 years. I have crossed the Rubicon.
But... I am shaken as I never have been. I have endured things people will never understand. But this I can't get past. Even though Kathy is here she is gone. She tells me she loves me 20+ times a day in a mumbled voice. She has no idea she is dying. I have never kept a secret from her. To keep from her that she is dying is killing me... I am uncomfortable breaking her trust. And the secret is the most horrible reality there could be. But she does not retain . She relives her mother's death every few days. her mother died 10 years ago.
I am so caught up in her care that I fear I am underestimating the devastation that will hit me when I no longer have her to care for.
Anyway.. That is where I am. And a little of who we were and I am. There are many news stories on us if anyone is interested. The other horror that kills me.. Kathy will never be known for her contribution to humanity... She will only be remembered for " Did not believe in God" Nothing could be farther from the truth.
To the question " do you have support?" ... A little. But Kathy and I were very controversial people. We stood by those no one else would stand by... Especially those who were unfairly condemned. It did not make us very popular. On the other hand we have friends that are as good as they come. Unfortunately we did our work from Memphis To Miami.
The local people for the most part do not like what we do. We are in an area that would be considered Klanish. The Churches follow suit. When I say Klanish I mean literally Card Carrying Klan. One of our people was the AME Church... So it is spread that we "do not believe in God" etc. What we stood our ground on was " We do not support and will not tolerate the name of God or the church to be used to spread hate and fear.
It all was going pretty well and our notions were growing until Kathy became very ill.
So we are controversial people... But in our book. Those who have a problem with our forgive our enemies and love our neighbors should be the ones seen as controversial.
To the minority of every race and creed that do support us we are seen as heroes... But it is a very small fan club.
I do not know what comes next... I am in solitude here on the river now for over a week.. Before that we had a traumatic 2.5 weeks in a Hospice that we later found had a bad reputation. The Hospice we are working with now seems very nice. But We ?I am having to yet again re establish my routine. and my small business is suffering.
I know as soon as I get this new routine going I will them become one of Y'all.
But I have to stand up. The adversaries kathy and I took on are the two most powerful and secretive lobby organizations in the USA and thus the world. One if I fail kathy's sacrifices will all be for nothing. Two they will wipe me off of the planet. Three. It is and has been my life's mission for over 30 years. I have crossed the Rubicon.
But... I am shaken as I never have been. I have endured things people will never understand. But this I can't get past. Even though Kathy is here she is gone. She tells me she loves me 20+ times a day in a mumbled voice. She has no idea she is dying. I have never kept a secret from her. To keep from her that she is dying is killing me... I am uncomfortable breaking her trust. And the secret is the most horrible reality there could be. But she does not retain . She relives her mother's death every few days. her mother died 10 years ago.
I am so caught up in her care that I fear I am underestimating the devastation that will hit me when I no longer have her to care for.
Anyway.. That is where I am. And a little of who we were and I am. There are many news stories on us if anyone is interested. The other horror that kills me.. Kathy will never be known for her contribution to humanity... She will only be remembered for " Did not believe in God" Nothing could be farther from the truth.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. She'll always be with you, even when she's not in body, her spirit will sustain you and you'll know where to put it when you need it and when you don't.
YOU put Kathy where you want her to be......no one can do that to or for you. Kathy's memory will NEVER be a "horror" for you, never!
Take care of you, you're a wonderful man.
With Love ,
Roz
Anybody who objects to using God and religion as a weapon as you indicated to spread hate and fear, and is willing to take on bullies of any size in the name of fairness has my very firm and positive support.
May you and Kathy find comfort and strength in your combined accomplishments and beliefs.
Best Regards, George