Agreed. Commiseration in grief/tears is still better than doing it alone.

At 5 weeks now. Crying is coping. It is needed. When i journal my feelings, good or bad, the pages are wet with tears. they seem to go hand in hand. Stay strong.

Hi, my husband past away 2 month ago. He was 67. We was together for 43 years.This is ok to feel sad ,This is ok to feel lost .

Tears. Early in our grief (the 1st year anyway), we have no control. Grief does what grief will do. In my adult life, I think I cried maybe 3 times in 30 years of marriage. But even my grief was semi-contained until about 5 months in when a good friend of mine from here on DS urged us both to face one blockage, Well, I knew where that was. I started looking at my wife's keepsakes she kept on a bookshelf. I found a box I didn't know she had with some of our cards given to each other through the years together. I only read the top one from her. Seeing her words, her handwriting, caused me to begin an uncontrollable sob from the depths of my soul. I never sobbed like that, ever. Several hours of wailing. And it was so necessary for me to begin a very long period of healing. Now at nearly 3 years, I seldom cry anymore. The sadness does come every now and then, but I am able to control it and keep it contained to a time and place of my choosing. At some point, the memory triggers that caused me so many uncontrollable tears have become my most cherished memories of our moments together. Crying is necessary for our healing. Grief is of the heart, and we suffer a deep spiritual wound unlike anything else we will ever suffer in life. We suffered a spiritual amputation because we were one spiritually with our loved one. I don't know why, but there is healing in our tears. Great healing. Miraculous healing. And without our tears, I think we would remain stuck in devastation far, far longer. You will be alright, just be patient and let grief do its thing. Not that we can stop it anyway :) Scott

I understand what you said, and unfortunately it happens too often in my life as well. Sometimes all we need is a good sob or a good cry to let off some steam.

Hugs.

I'm going on 3 months since my husband passed away and I was so glad to read your post because it's EVERYTHING I've been saying and feeling to my family and friends. Even I myself think I should be handling this loss better but I really think everything I'm going thru is perfectly normal for a loss of this magnitude. Thank you for making me feel better!

I have noticed in the past 3 1/2 months since my husband has been gone that the tears come when they want. That is one reason I have avoided a lot of social interaction. I have many time apologized for crying. Then I thought why am I saying I am sorry for grieving my most precious husband. If they are uncomfortable with it then so be it.

I’m with you too...my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in June 2013 and I felt I had to be strong, stay positive, and hold back the tears. I can’t do it any more. I think people think ‘you knew he was going to die when he was diagnosed over 4 years ago you shouldn’t be so grief-stricken, etc.’ I feel I will be crying for years all the days I held it back, I avoid social activities too where I fear someone may say something about it if I cry, I’m tired of acting like all is well-it is not and I’m not going to apologize for it. Is this why friendships change after a loss like this-lack of understanding and communication?

There is a sacredness in tears, they are not the mark of weakness, but of power

They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues, they are messengers of overwhelming grief, Of deep contrition,

And of unspeakable Love.

Washington Irving