Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicola37 01/18/2012

Seeing as how I can't meet up with you wonderful people, who have kept me going in my world of grief ( I'm in the uk!) I've joined a local group of young widows, and am going to lunch with them in a couple of weeks. Although I don't know any of them yet, I'm apprehensive to go, but want to go because I think it will help me and our son. The meeting place is bittersweet though, as coincidentally the manager of the restaurant is the one who's old restaurant, Ric and I were taking on ( I found out 2 weeks after he died that we had successfully got the job). Also the last time I saw this manager, it was 4 days before Ric died and he was showing us around his restaurant and accommodation. So, I'm hoping not to breakdown when I go to for lunch, as longterm I'm hoping we will benefit, it just reminds me so heart breakingly of what we lost xx

davemo 01/18/2012

hi Nicola u can do it .iam also from uk hugs dave

deleted_user 01/18/2012

Yes...you can head the DS UK Contingency!

(((hugs from across the pond)))

Carla

kynessie 01/18/2012

Congratulations on joining this group. I too am taking a plunge. I'm joining a craft group in another town where I don't know anyone other than email. They know what I've been through and are looking forward to me joining their group. I'm very nervous, but I'm looking forward to it too. I'm going this coming Saturday.

Nessie from KY

deleted_user 01/18/2012

It is so important to be around people who understand and can relate to your loss. I stuggle everytime I am in a situation that reminds me of Wayne, especially those things that brought him great joy.

I know you can make it when you see this manager. If you cry, don't apologize. You've earned that right and you'll be in great company with people who understand your tears all too well.

deleted_user 01/18/2012

Hi,

Nicola, I think it is great that you are going to a local face-to-face group. That is the great strength in a group, a larger pool of thought and ideas. Like that cliche "None of us is as good as all of us."

It might be a challenge being at the restaurant, and I am keeping you in prayers.

Hugs,

Shar

deleted_user 01/18/2012

I think this is going to be great for you to join this group. It may be hard at first to go into this restaurant but there isn't a better group of people to be their with you when you do, as they will understand.
Wishing you peace and healing in the days ahead..........hugs

annier1071 01/18/2012

wow I am soo happy for all those who have found a local group to join. If there is anyone in the New york area (queens or brooklyn) I would LOVE to meet with you and talk. We are the only ones who know the pain of this loss and need each other.

Congrats to all those who have found a group to be part of out there!! Much love Ann

deleted_user 01/18/2012

So what are you young widows plunging into exactly? May i recommend Jello, nothing better than a good Jello plunge for making new friends i say. Some of the really hefty ones may want to keep their bloomers on, but otherwise you'll have a fun time.

jremee 01/18/2012

Good luck to you. I know it will be hard, but believe you will be glad (in the long run) that you go. I hope you find understanding and support in this group; I am quite sure you will. Take care.
-MJ

deleted_user 01/18/2012

Good for you. I have gone on line in my local area - Southern Ontario and have not found anything that would be a good fit. Either too young or too old . Glad you found something. Best wishes that you enjoy yourself! emily

Nicola37 01/18/2012

I'm sorry Sal forgive my ignorance, what does Jello plunge mean?!? The young widows is for people under 50, who meet up for dinner, nights/days out, with and without children. They even organise holidays, but I'm a bit far off that yet! After speaking to my counsellor today, she suggested I visit the restaurant before I meet up with these people, to see how I feel in that environment, and possibly see the guy that Ric was talking too before he died. I will give it a go and have got nothing to lose, only tears to shed for the lost love of my life xx Thank you all for your encouragement xx

deleted_user 01/18/2012

Sounds like a great idea. Crazy connection though. I think you will be chuffed. (my attempt at Britspeak) Good luck and I hope it all works out.

deleted_user 01/18/2012

Good luck Nicola! Being around people who understand what you are feeling and going through makes a huge difference in the healing process. Come back and tell us how it goes. HUGS! Connie

deleted_user 01/18/2012

THAT'S GREAT news!

Happy for you, and know tht you will be just fine! what better group to have a meltdown with in regards to the restaurant than the very people who would understand most? :-)

Hope you make many friends, and tell us about it! I hope with all my heart it helps!

HUGS Diane

deauxgirl 01/18/2012

Try to focus on the people you are meeting and not the restaurant itself. It would be helpful if you went ahead and at least talk to the manager Ric, so it's not an uncomfortable time seeing him with other people watching.

You will do fine, and after this time, each time will be easier.

Paula

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