I have no interest in eating. I wish there was a pill I could take 3 times a day to take away my appetite. Often I drink a protein drink and call it a meal. My problem is I'm always hungry. I hate eating. Don't know how to deal with that. Grrrr. I tried Weight Watchers years ago and lost 30 pounds, but stopped it and realized how very much I missed the good foods I used to eat. No one can tell me how good the foods are that I'm SUPPOSED to eat. My body doesn't like salads. Often I will starve before I make myself eat something just because I SHOULD. I'm diabetic, too, so food is a nightmare for me.

I gradually got back into hair care and in the end had to have the brows waxed they were so unruly, never did lapse on the personal hygiene and have made myself get up everyday even if I spend the day moping and crying. Now after nearly 7months I even have a facial booked this weekend for my tired stressed skin.

What I can't get sorted though is the healthy diet, I just don't feel like going to all the trouble of cooking just for one so unless my son is coming to dinner I just grab a ready meal or sandwhiches. I also keep telling myself I must get back to the pool and the yoga but still as yet have not done it. Believe it or not I am still sorting out Chris,s estate which is a lot of worry and stress so I guess I am not doing too bad.

I think we will all get there, it just takes time.

Right after My Husband Died, I stopped Cooking. I was on My Own. For the First Three Months, after His Death, I ate a " Lunchable " every Night for Dinner. Ever had one? Don't. It was Six Months, before, I got My very Curly Hair cut. I Looked like Bozo, the Clown. When I went into Church, the next Sunday, someone said, " Wow, You Look, Ten Years, Younger." I must have Looked, like, Heck, before. Then I got My Nails done. Something, I did not have time to do, when He was Sick. I belonged, to a Caregiver, Group, for Three Years, before, My Husband, Died and it was always, Stressed, " Take Time for Yourself " That was True, then and it's True now. If We don't feel good about Ourselves, We won't feel good about Life.
I know it's hard, to find the Time, but it's Important.

I can relate to all of you. After 18 months since my Jim died I am now beginning to care what I look like. Remember the days of not wanting to get out of bed, but forcing myself. One of my best friends was in contact with me daily and when she came over and suggested we go to lunch or dinner and I did not feel like going she understood and just sat with me.

Continue to struggle with not being part of a couple. I do not like being single and do not like living alone. However, I am getting to acceptance that for now this is how it is. Until I started working part-time 2 weeks ago there was no routine for me and it is good to have a routine. Up until a few weeks ago I was not ready to go back to work cause the emotions, sadness, tears, etc. were ever present and sometimes the tears just would not stop.

It is getting much better for me though. I miss my Jim every single day and he will always remain in my heart. He always believed "Death is part of life, accept it and move on." What he had no clue of is how very difficult the "moving on" is after the death of a spouse. My life, everything about it changed and these changes came without my permission or desire. All of us here know this only too well.

I do know that it will be o.k. with working through the process of grieving. If any of you live where GriefShare support group is I recommend joining. It was very valuable for me. GriefShare is usually sponsored by a local church. Going to griefshare.org will give a list of what cities, churches, etc. It is a safe place and everyone is experiencing the grieving process.

I too have pretty much given up on makeup,dressing up anymore.
I wash my hair, put it in a ponytail. I wear shorts everyday. And
wear my favorite shoes (flip flops). I had really fixed up a couple
of times,but I had no compliments about the way i looked.
I really just don't care anymore.