Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

bayoured 03/22/2018

I have to know if any of you have shouted this out when the pain is so unbearable. I have never thought of hurting myself but in the last 4 months when I have those really bad days like today I have uttered those words outloud " God please take me or take some of this pain" It doesnt happen often but when it does I question if i am the only one who says things like that . Is this part of the grief reaction? Just wanted to put it out there .....

cgriff4ever 03/25/2018

Remember.. we have our weak moments. Always remember, you can start your day over, as many times as you need, to see some sort of relief, or peace. A very good friend told me this, once upon a time, (scottie) It is very true! Ive had many a day, that I've had to restart it 20 times. Just remember, don't wish for what you really dont want. I know it will seem the worst pain in the world to lose your husband/wife. The pain would be greater, for your passed on spouse, to even know that you would want to end this life, because of them.. They didn;t pass so you would want to end up not wanting to finish living this life. We all will meet our end. We are to make the best/most of what we have, not what or who we don;t have in it anymore. Trust me at 3 years, I still have those moments. As the waves get further and further apart as time passes, you will be able to better breathe, and see beyond the pain/grief you are feeling now. You might do some research on griefshare support groups. I went through 3 of them and countless times of telling even strangers my story. The more you talk about it, the more you will be told, you are not alone. Much love and hugs carla

bayoured 03/25/2018

Raininseattle you are not wallowing. It is where you are at this moment in time. It is when we are thrown back into the pit of despair that we feel this way. It will pass as it has done before it is just when we are there it is unbearable. Hold on. Sometimes we just need a reminder from others that we will pull out of this. Hugs to you and know we are here and listening.

exploringgrief 03/25/2018

I have kids. And grandkids. Almost all of the joy of grandchildren seems to have been taken. Grief seems to suck all of the purpose out of life.
I, too, have wished I could die. Its been almost three months and I still think about it. I don't think I would do it to myself. But I am pretty sure that if a doctor told me I had cancer right now, I would have no fight in me.
I never thought this would be who I am. I have always considered myself someone who looks forward, not backward. But right now, I can't seem to see anything looking forward. There is no goal, no purpose, no value in the years ahead. Just a bunch of time until I die.
I trust this will clear up soon.

Join the Conversation