Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
A business that made saddle racks, pad racks, bridle racks, and saddle trees etc all across USA is no longer a part of my life. From 1999 my husband used it as his side business during retirement. While it flourished in the beginning it was a hobby last few yrs. I look back and realize he did not push it as much as he was slowing down, and I think he truly was not feeling well.
My garage and shop lost alot of heavy equipment yesterday, I watched the backhoe lift it with its heavy chains onto my flat bed, and I drove it away to the previous owners place who is going to sell it for me. At a small fraction of cost but thats ok, 1/2 goes to his kids I just need that finalized. Than they are truly no part of the threat to my peace. Wow I just realized I said MY garage.
I thought I would cry but I said good bye Roger when I unloaded the last piece. It was like it was another goodbye to him not the equipment, but it was a goodbye without tears just a sigh goodbye.
Now I am cleaning the garage, a gal from Tri Cities is driving to get his pontoon float tube I have for sale. The flat bed is going for sale, the tractor is going for sale - things I will no longer need. Tractor being alittle too big for a smaller place I plan on moving to....If I need it I will manage....
I am amazed at how much junk I got rid of, now to sell the good stuff - kinda late for a garage sale but.......MAYBE or maybe next spring or when I get to move.....but cleaning it up, putting it along shelves neater is a good feeling, something I can do a little at a time.
My garage and shop lost alot of heavy equipment yesterday, I watched the backhoe lift it with its heavy chains onto my flat bed, and I drove it away to the previous owners place who is going to sell it for me. At a small fraction of cost but thats ok, 1/2 goes to his kids I just need that finalized. Than they are truly no part of the threat to my peace. Wow I just realized I said MY garage.
I thought I would cry but I said good bye Roger when I unloaded the last piece. It was like it was another goodbye to him not the equipment, but it was a goodbye without tears just a sigh goodbye.
Now I am cleaning the garage, a gal from Tri Cities is driving to get his pontoon float tube I have for sale. The flat bed is going for sale, the tractor is going for sale - things I will no longer need. Tractor being alittle too big for a smaller place I plan on moving to....If I need it I will manage....
I am amazed at how much junk I got rid of, now to sell the good stuff - kinda late for a garage sale but.......MAYBE or maybe next spring or when I get to move.....but cleaning it up, putting it along shelves neater is a good feeling, something I can do a little at a time.
I have not gotten to that point getting out of the house the things he really enjoyed, like his golf clubs, his music, other hobbies, and some of his personal things, suits I liked on him, etc... I know I understand it is strange push and pull - moving forward and holding on at the same time........ But I do what it feels right for me letting go slowly. When I did it in a hurry, I paid by terrible regrets and pain. ...slowly is my way
Selling the John Deere zero turn, was the last piece of equipment that I had...but, it was so bittersweet. It was his pride and joy..I conquered it..but, needed the money.
And the cleaning, the purging, the power to do it, is really overwhelming, in a good way.
You go girl, life is out there, we gotta believe...:)
(HUGS) Debi