Holidays are difficult, so I may come off a little more despondent that I usually like to reveal.
I lost Virginia, my wife of 29 years on our anniversary day two years ago. It was very sudden. We had no knowledge that she was sick with anything more than a cough, but during a test she passed from complications due to cancer that started in her uterus and spread to her lungs. It was surreal to say the least. We walked in one day to get a CT Scan and everything seemed normal, but two days later I walked out with our adult kids after giving permission to stop life saving measures to avoid life support. Its been over two years and I miss her immensly. I have read others testimonies on here and agree that it is as if I was ripped apart and can never collect the pieces. At the same time, my faith gives me the peace of knowing that she is at peace, and that is more than a little comfort.
These days I struggle a great deal with regaining the drive I had prior to her death. In truth, I just don't care about the things I cared about before. I love our kids of course, and have been blessed with a wonderful new wife (also widowed) and we are working on chapter two; however, I just dont know if I will ever regain the passion that seems to have gone away when Virginia died. Its so difficult to get excited about things, especially holidays and holiday things. I take care of the things I need to of course, but my heart is just not in most things that involve "the things I used to do." I just go through the motions, hoping to re-ignite. My challenge is that I still live in our house, I still work where we both worked, I go to church where we went since 1991, everything is a reminder.
On one hand, I don't want to walk away from the things that have always been so important, and on the other, they just dont seem imporatant anymore. Anyway, I usually try to be more positive on here than what I am posting today. Perhaps I am looking for encouragement more than answers. I know there is plenty of it on this site.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mark_twain
A friend of mine's son was recently released from jail. He has wrestled with many demons including addiction, incarcertion, and depression to name a few. I have befriended him over the last year or two and gotten to know him quite well. Recently over coffee in a off the cuff manner he shared a very very personal story. He told me a few years earlier he was really messed up one...