Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My mother passed away two weeks ago and as expected it put me through a lot of dredged up emotions.
In the last 4 years I have lost my wife (lil bear), both my parents, my brother and two of my best friends, it has been a rough few years. Most of them I lost without warning, sudden conditions or incidents. My dad I lost to Alzheimers and Parkinsons so in essence I lost him long before he passed away.
My mother on the other hand was taken by a very aggressive form of cancer, less than three weeks from diagnosis to her passing. But in those 3 weeks she was in relatively good health and good spirits. In that time all her grandkids were able to fly up and spend several days with her. I was able to go up and spend all three weekends with her. She passed away with my sister and I sitting by her side holding her hands, she sat up took a deep breath (more like a heavy sign) and just closed her eyes.
I find that I am strangely comforted by the way she passed. She was able to say goodbye to everyone important to her. She told us all that she had had a good run and was ready to go and loved us all (as we told her). In the end I am sad but peaceful at the same time.
Just thought I would share yet another perspective on our various journeys.
-Pete-
In the last 4 years I have lost my wife (lil bear), both my parents, my brother and two of my best friends, it has been a rough few years. Most of them I lost without warning, sudden conditions or incidents. My dad I lost to Alzheimers and Parkinsons so in essence I lost him long before he passed away.
My mother on the other hand was taken by a very aggressive form of cancer, less than three weeks from diagnosis to her passing. But in those 3 weeks she was in relatively good health and good spirits. In that time all her grandkids were able to fly up and spend several days with her. I was able to go up and spend all three weekends with her. She passed away with my sister and I sitting by her side holding her hands, she sat up took a deep breath (more like a heavy sign) and just closed her eyes.
I find that I am strangely comforted by the way she passed. She was able to say goodbye to everyone important to her. She told us all that she had had a good run and was ready to go and loved us all (as we told her). In the end I am sad but peaceful at the same time.
Just thought I would share yet another perspective on our various journeys.
-Pete-
I am sorry for your loss of your mother and also for the many other loved ones.
I have a mom who is here with us at times and other times she is not. She also has alzheimer's and I know what you mean about your father.
My grandfather, her dad, had it and we lost him years before he passed away to it. So, yes I can see why you say your dad was gone long before.
When I read how your mother passed, I also felt a warm peaceful feeling. What a wonderful way to go to say goodbye to everyone. Also, to hear she was happy with her life.
I agree, very nice different perspective on passing on.
Thank you for sharing it with us,
Hugs,
Judy
All of your losses, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you were there for her final moments. She seemed to have a good attitude and she raised a wonderful son. It all seems too much to bear, but with sorrow also comes joy. I wish for you and your family, peace and joy.
Paula
Hugs - Doye
I am sorry for your loss...and I do understand what you mean. Bill and I knew for several weeks that each day could be our last together...and we were able to schedule things early...celebrate our anniversary together...and Christmas with the grandkids...it made a huge difference being able to let go together.
Love
Carla
First I'm, so sorry for all these losses in scuh a short time. Too many for anyone to have to bear, and my heart goes out to you.
I do understand what you are saying. the peace that you felt. When I lost Greg, he was ill, but it was also sudden, with the heart attack, and intubation not long after. We didn't "KNOW" this was to be the end in his case, although it was.
My mom was ill through all the arrangements, and memorial and everything, and the day of memorial whe went into the hospital. she had been in and out of hospitals for many years. On this last time she had told me in her own words that she was "ready' to die. It was hard to hear, but we both DID get time to talk, and to get things said that needed to be, and the end was something we all knew was coming.
Losing both Greg and my mom were heartbreaking, but I understand the peace in the knowing it was coming, and the being able to say what needs so much to be said.
Although no passing is EVER EASY no matter how it happens, to be able to tell the person all you feel before they have to go, does bring a different feeling. Just as sad, but different.
I never thought of it like that before. THANK YOU for this, and My hopes that your losses are over now, and only life is gained in the future. A wonderful life. You deserve it.
HUGS Diane
Hugs & prayers for peace,
Cathy
Sorry about the recent passing of your mother and also for the many other loved ones in such a short period of time. It does bring up lots of other emotions.
I am so glad that you were able to spend some time with her before she passed away. I also lost my mother on Jan 11 and I am glad that I got to spend a lot of time with her over the last few years while she battled with her cancer...................hugs
Best regards, Vicki
I am so sorry for all of your losses -
True how different losses can bring different perspectives, I know you must still miss your parents too....
Are you working that new tractor well?
Take care