Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

still wearing my wedding rings

Loriluvsbruce
Loriluvsbruce
Bruce has been gone 1 1/2 years and I am still wearing my wedding rings and wear his on a chain around my neck. It is very natural for me because I still see me as a married woman.My problem is that nobody else sees me as a married woman.I have recently lost my job and looking for a new one and filling applications and tax forms and when they want your status its married, divorced or single there is no space for widowed.If I put married my taxes are different so I have to put single. I hate that. People ask me when I plan to stop wearing my rings. And start dating.When I say I have no desire to date that I still love Bruce, they tell me oh your time will come.I dont want my time to come. I know Bruce is gone but I have been married twice and really dont want to do it again so why not just honor Bruce. I'm not hanging on to something that I know I can never have again with him I'm just loving a man that was a good friend and wonderful husband. And why not wear those memories around my finger. Anyway if someone else comes along, he will know about Bruce. I could never act like he didnt exist. Just wondering if anyone else has a hard time feeling like they are still married. I see people on here that are looking to date again but are wondering about the ones that are content still being Mr or Mrs loved one.
sadheart56
sadheart56
I will always wear my wedding rings. I have worn them for 40 nyears. I wear my husbands wedding band on my left hand, it makes me feel closer to him. I feel for me, I do not want to marry again. I will always have one husband. I am 57 years old. My husband went to be with the Lord five months ago. I know myself better than anyone other than my husband. You know yourself. I say do what you feel is right for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have taken my wedding rings off - it felt weird - and I did transition from left to right hand first....but it felt like the right thing to do. (took about a month to finally take them off entirely) My wedding ring finger has a permanent "dent" and i wear other jewelry that Jeff gave me over the years. I still wear his ring on a chain around my neck. I have another widow friend who still wears hers "sometimes" - after 5 years...to discourage male interest...
deleted_user
deleted_user
its been 9 months and i still wear ours johns on my middle finger and mine on my ring finger they have our names engraved on them and they i wear them our names touch i have no desire right now to take them off he is my love and will always be in my heartwe werent married long and only had the rings about two weeks before he passed we had them made special and it took longer then it was suppose to so once we had them i will wear them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why does it feel like "moving on" means forgetting?
I felt a need to remember my husband with a widows ring worn on my ring finger next to the other rings, and could not find a black mourning ring that was "just right".
I have designed a collection of mourning rings specfic to widows and you might want to consider looking at them. I have included pictures of some of them.

I wore a thin one next to my wedding rings during the 1st years but now have a black solitaire that is going to be worn until "forever".
Diane
deleted_user
deleted_user
january 1st marks 21 months for me...my rings are firmly in place, with his on a chain around my neck. i AM still married, and will most likely always feel this way. actually, my shrink had the nerve to ask me TWICE why i still wear them..the first time, i simply said...because i'm still married. the second time really pissed me off! and i told him...until YOU have had half your soul forcibly severed, you will NEVER understand why i wear these rings! it's totally a personal decision, and nobody else's business if you wear them or not, when and IF you decide to take them off, that will be in your time and no one else's. you do what makes it right for YOU.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm new here. My husband died 3 weeks ago. I am still in denial. I look at my wedding ring, and know that it has to be there. He died 3 days before our 37th anniversary of a massive heart attack. I try to go out every day, otherwise I would stay in bed, or stare at the wall.
I agree with sadheart56, I've worn my ring this long, and I love my husband, whether he is with me or not.