Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This past weekend I had my work cut out for me. I wanted to clear out some lumber and move it so i could clean up the area and have that as emply space (in the barn). It's a big barn, separated by a wall that hold thes stalls on one side and a large area on the other that has been used as a riding arena in the Winter, as a setup for the Electric Cow, and then for Hay storage, and now it has 6 stalls (portable) on that side. It's the quiet side, no horses there.
Anyway, I started at noon. cleaned horse stalls, got horses out on the gras that is beginning to dry up and then started. I work my jeans and leather boots not know what i might run into . Lucky i was in the shade because it's been so hot.
So i move a few thing and there it is. ...pegboard, sheets of them, probably 10 and they are falling apart from moisture, insect etc. I had to take the 4x8 sheets and break each one into small pieces like 3 feet x 4 feet in order to have the trash service take them away.
So i stood on them, pulled on them broke them with a sledge hammer and for the first time used my hubbby's circular saw to cut through them. No east on pegboard.
I stacked them all in the tractor bucket with 5 giant trash bags of small pieces of this rotted pegboard. Moisture gets into it pretty easily.
So that took me 7-1/2 hours to complete beside the horses. I went out at 11:30am and didn't come in until 8:00pm. I was so tired outside by the time i finished loading the tractor i just sat on the ground.
THEN i had to take the load and UNLOAD it and stack it for the trash collection!! I laid 3 2x6's on the ground and laid the broken sheets of pegboard on them. Then i filled the trash can which has more bags in it and it was so heavy i had to use the tractor to get it to the front by the highway for pickup.
Then i fed horses, dogs, cats and FINALLY myself.
I do remember a few word and that way, DON, why did you leave all of this here?
Now i have another corner of all lumber to clean up and restack and move. Oh boy! But i must tell you. You will not be grieving staying so busy. ANd then bedtime you just fall asleep without lots of thinking that gets you sad again.
And i use my Elliptical glider exercise machine before I go outside to loosen my muscles. I can't afford to pull a muscle handling these heavy objects with the animals i am responsible to care for around here.
So i wish you all busy days with things to do that keep your mind free from too much thinking about what makes you hurt and sad inside.
This way your mind is on rearranging and get that bottle of water!!
LOL.
I want to stay busy because the 10 month mark is coming up very soon.
And boy, do I miss my hubby. He was the reason for my days.
Well you all take care. I wish you all great dreams (i wish for me too) and things to do and friend and family to talk to daily.
My best to you my friends.
Letty
Anyway, I started at noon. cleaned horse stalls, got horses out on the gras that is beginning to dry up and then started. I work my jeans and leather boots not know what i might run into . Lucky i was in the shade because it's been so hot.
So i move a few thing and there it is. ...pegboard, sheets of them, probably 10 and they are falling apart from moisture, insect etc. I had to take the 4x8 sheets and break each one into small pieces like 3 feet x 4 feet in order to have the trash service take them away.
So i stood on them, pulled on them broke them with a sledge hammer and for the first time used my hubbby's circular saw to cut through them. No east on pegboard.
I stacked them all in the tractor bucket with 5 giant trash bags of small pieces of this rotted pegboard. Moisture gets into it pretty easily.
So that took me 7-1/2 hours to complete beside the horses. I went out at 11:30am and didn't come in until 8:00pm. I was so tired outside by the time i finished loading the tractor i just sat on the ground.
THEN i had to take the load and UNLOAD it and stack it for the trash collection!! I laid 3 2x6's on the ground and laid the broken sheets of pegboard on them. Then i filled the trash can which has more bags in it and it was so heavy i had to use the tractor to get it to the front by the highway for pickup.
Then i fed horses, dogs, cats and FINALLY myself.
I do remember a few word and that way, DON, why did you leave all of this here?
Now i have another corner of all lumber to clean up and restack and move. Oh boy! But i must tell you. You will not be grieving staying so busy. ANd then bedtime you just fall asleep without lots of thinking that gets you sad again.
And i use my Elliptical glider exercise machine before I go outside to loosen my muscles. I can't afford to pull a muscle handling these heavy objects with the animals i am responsible to care for around here.
So i wish you all busy days with things to do that keep your mind free from too much thinking about what makes you hurt and sad inside.
This way your mind is on rearranging and get that bottle of water!!
LOL.
I want to stay busy because the 10 month mark is coming up very soon.
And boy, do I miss my hubby. He was the reason for my days.
Well you all take care. I wish you all great dreams (i wish for me too) and things to do and friend and family to talk to daily.
My best to you my friends.
Letty
I agree with you - keeping busy is the way to go (with the occasional break to just stop and reassess and appreciate just how far we've come)
Wishing you the very best. Sandy
I kept thinking that it was unfortunate that you didnt have a wife to bring you food and lemonade and tell you to Stop for the day, or Take a break!
This site is very interesting-- we all get to hear about the varied lives of our fellow widows/widowers. Rich/ Poor, Young/Old, Country/City, Farm/Apt., US/overseas...Death strikes everyone and leaves different trials and tasks for those left behind.
Thank you for sharing your day. And again, WOW- good job.
Your strength and determination is Very inspiring
I had a good weekend myself, putting together furniture, but it pales in comparison to what you've done.
I know from experience once I got into it I wanted to do it not just to keep me going but to show (Which I did not realize at the time) I could do it. And also to show him - us. I realized much later also what it did for my heart and moving forward. I still dig in fixing stalls, shelters, fences, water lines, roofing, cause its the worker me and feeds a good thing for me.
I had to learn to pace myself after awhile. Enjoyed your post. Good luck on the rest from PNW
I have my days, no doubt, but i am truly trying and i don't mind getting dirty and trying out things my husband did. I learned by watching him. I never used a skillsaw before and i wanted to just shred the mess of pegboard i found!!
Dennis, i know you are extremely busy, do take care, too. And thanks for the compliment. It was hard. I'm not finished either. But i need a few days off of this heavy work because of the extreme heat. I guess we all have that little voice in our heads that says, you can do it...maybe the voice is our loved one as well as ourselves.
Good night everyone. I have paperwork to do in the morning, my regular job. I'll probably have a very busy weekend coming up. The 16th makes 10 months without my beloved and I will buy flowers for him and work my behind off outside cleaning. I miss my parents too, I'll buy extra flowers for them as well.