Well, after 5-1/2 months, I still don't have any of my "thank you" notes written, but I went out to look at different styles of monuments this weekend. I wanted to have it installed by Christmas, but it might not make in time. It felt good to actually be doing something that needs to be done.

What a beautiful day! It was mid-afternoon, and the site I had selected for us is on the East side of a Large maple tree. As I had hoped, the leaves were turning, and the tree was casting a shadow over our plots. It was truly peaceful. And then...

I started looking at all the other markers in our section, and was fixated on the dates and other details especially large last names in blackened letters. I saw a beautiful gray granite stone in the general shape I wanted and imagined seeing our names and dates chiseled-into the front. That was it. All I could take. Why am I standing out in a cemetery on a Sunday afternoon instead of being home watching football and getting to smell the wonderful scents coming from the kitchen as my wife prepared Sunday dinner.
I've got to get the stones ordered this week in order to have the slightest chance to have it by Christmas. But I'm not sure I'm ready to see her name on the sketch before placing the order. My beautiful wife is inside a box underground instead of at home working out holiday travel plans. I can't afford to wait much longer, but this is one more thing I really want to put off for a very long time. Yet I don't want her plot to go unmarked any longer either. I'm just not sure what to do. How long do people wait before selecting a marker? I'm wondering if the cemetery is beginning to get a little impatient with me.

Just another example of my inability to make decisions on anything right now.