Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This will be a long one...
Since my Ts body died I have been trying to gain some faith in afterlife.
I understand for some people this is not needed for them to move on, and if I dont get myself to be more of a believer, I guess I probably have to find ways to move on anyway. But for now I want to try to learn more about this, it is one of my few interests of the moment.
But me being so clumsy - as my T - in almost everything in life, I somehow managed to turn this pursue of faith into another way of being more anxious and scared.
Among some of the possibilities I have been hearing about: that we are here in this physical body to learn a lesson, and we will reincarnate over and over until we learn it. I am such a slow learner, the idea that I am going through this, and most likely will not learn whatever lesson I am supposed be learning, and so my spirit will keep coming back to the planet and I will be forced to experience things like this over and over and over is horrible.
One guy wrote suicide is like cutting class, the result will be that you have to come back again until you learn it... Am I the only one who finds this scary??? Not even if I kill myself will this end??? I keep thinking of Dad, and the chance that he goes soon too, and I clearly think the best thing to do when/if that happens would be for me to donate my few possessions to animal rights associations, euthanize my cats, and kill myself. And now I am even more afraid that unwillingly I will be "shipped" to earth again...
And what about the idea that we are all in this body to learn and maybe to teach. If he has been here with the mission to teach, lets say to teach me how to appreciate life, and live in the present. It doesnt look like I am learning it... It is working totally in the opposite direction. Will he be "punished" for not having succeeded and sent back again, to have to deal with another me?
And this reincarnation thing: that my T might reincarnate as a being with another gender, species, color, ... It took me 29 years to find him, now he is physically gone, and it will be even more challenging to find him again?! WTF?
Unlike most people here, I dont have spiritual/religious faith in afterlife or a kind entity that rules us all, but I am not cool with this, so I am trying to hear as much as I can, with the hope that something will click and make sense, and then make me feel better. I try to think as an open-minded skeptic, since I am aware of some facts. Facts like viruses exists and I dont see them, so maybe some spirits are present but I cant see them... Facts like once everybody thought the planet was flat, and then we found out it wasnt, so maybe one day we will all know for a fact there is an afterlife, even though now its not obvious... Dumb things like this. I know I am maybe approaching these issues with too much of an "earthly eye", but I am so confused... Dont know what to believe in, dont know how to have faith one day the two of us will be together again, and I cant get myself to believe either that when our body dies, it is over.
So I want to hear from you all, maybe some of the people with faith can provide me of some words that make sense to me, and maybe I find that I am not the only one this confused.
Sorry it was so long. Here goes
Since my Ts body died I have been trying to gain some faith in afterlife.
I understand for some people this is not needed for them to move on, and if I dont get myself to be more of a believer, I guess I probably have to find ways to move on anyway. But for now I want to try to learn more about this, it is one of my few interests of the moment.
But me being so clumsy - as my T - in almost everything in life, I somehow managed to turn this pursue of faith into another way of being more anxious and scared.
Among some of the possibilities I have been hearing about: that we are here in this physical body to learn a lesson, and we will reincarnate over and over until we learn it. I am such a slow learner, the idea that I am going through this, and most likely will not learn whatever lesson I am supposed be learning, and so my spirit will keep coming back to the planet and I will be forced to experience things like this over and over and over is horrible.
One guy wrote suicide is like cutting class, the result will be that you have to come back again until you learn it... Am I the only one who finds this scary??? Not even if I kill myself will this end??? I keep thinking of Dad, and the chance that he goes soon too, and I clearly think the best thing to do when/if that happens would be for me to donate my few possessions to animal rights associations, euthanize my cats, and kill myself. And now I am even more afraid that unwillingly I will be "shipped" to earth again...
And what about the idea that we are all in this body to learn and maybe to teach. If he has been here with the mission to teach, lets say to teach me how to appreciate life, and live in the present. It doesnt look like I am learning it... It is working totally in the opposite direction. Will he be "punished" for not having succeeded and sent back again, to have to deal with another me?
And this reincarnation thing: that my T might reincarnate as a being with another gender, species, color, ... It took me 29 years to find him, now he is physically gone, and it will be even more challenging to find him again?! WTF?
Unlike most people here, I dont have spiritual/religious faith in afterlife or a kind entity that rules us all, but I am not cool with this, so I am trying to hear as much as I can, with the hope that something will click and make sense, and then make me feel better. I try to think as an open-minded skeptic, since I am aware of some facts. Facts like viruses exists and I dont see them, so maybe some spirits are present but I cant see them... Facts like once everybody thought the planet was flat, and then we found out it wasnt, so maybe one day we will all know for a fact there is an afterlife, even though now its not obvious... Dumb things like this. I know I am maybe approaching these issues with too much of an "earthly eye", but I am so confused... Dont know what to believe in, dont know how to have faith one day the two of us will be together again, and I cant get myself to believe either that when our body dies, it is over.
So I want to hear from you all, maybe some of the people with faith can provide me of some words that make sense to me, and maybe I find that I am not the only one this confused.
Sorry it was so long. Here goes
I don't subscribe to organized religion and I think it's sad when religions try to exclude others, like you have to believe x y and z to be saved. I stopped being Mormon when I was old enough to understand they were racist. When someone quotes the bible as if it were written by God instead of compiled by multiple authors who picked and chose what to put it, what to leave out, and ignore that it's been translated from numerous languages to arrive at the English version...well it's a free country, we can all believe different things and still care about each other.
I am for equality and have many gay friends that I adore and can't stand that Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve crap.
Like Dianeme, I am not motivated to be a good person through faith or fear of damnation, it's just who I am, and I believe the majority of people would also conduct themselves as moral, loving, compassionate, honest beings without the fear of hell hanging over their heads. Whenever someone uses God and fear in the same sentence I cringe.
It might sound strange but I find readings with Doreen Virtues Goddess Cards comforting. I am not suggesting you would.
I do believe that energy can not be destroyed and that it continues on in some form.
I might be pagan if I had more time to devote to it, research it.
I do feel we are all here to help each other, that we're all connected and that our lives are not preordained.
I hope you are able to forgive yourself and just put one foot in front of the other, take it moment by moment until you find a reason to live. Death finds us all too soon as it is. ((()))