Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 10/09/2011

A friend from Oregon came and stayed with me. Luckily for her and I we got water, stove top etc all fixed...

SO we went out to local little bar (holds 25 people) nearby, my husband would bar tend there at times for fun. Retired wildlife biologist always wanted to be a bar tender = it was fun as it was small and gorgeous inside. Neat for locals to come, hunters to come while waiting for food and showers at downstairs business.

OK long story - short: also invited nearby gal. WE laughed and laughed with some of the local group of gals and guys. Played a card game until 11:00 pm. I never laughed so hard for a very long time, even before I lost Roger but I realized how hard I was laughing, stopped and just said oh gosh it feels so good to laugh. Today reflecting back on the evening it was so fun. AND I also cried because I miss the fun stuff, friends are gone and back to reality.

It was a bright spot for the time -

deleted_user 10/09/2011

I'm so happy that you had such a great time---laughing is so good for you. Hope you have many many more times like that. I think each bright spot you find makes the next one easier.

michaelbmanning 10/09/2011

I am also glad you had a good time. Don't you just hate it when it is time to hop back in that pumpkin at the stroke of 12 and go back to the way things really are. We all need good times.

Maggie

edithbathgate 10/09/2011

Good for you!

heartsick1 10/09/2011

I am so glad you had a good time. It is so nice to feel like part of a group when we get the chance.

lovelos 10/09/2011

Sounds wonderful Nicker, we all deserve laughter and joy in our lives again, I am happy for you and hope you have many more in your future, hugs Lu Ann

cleodoggie 10/09/2011

It's wonderful you could laugh.....Hugs

deleted_user 10/09/2011

Good for you, I need to do that.

cheerryG 10/10/2011

So glad you were able to have a moment of happiness, wish you more to come. I have them. just wish I didnt feel guilty about it so much. God bless G-

NewRoadsForMe 10/10/2011

That's great, Nicker! Even though it only lasted a few hours, it is a new memory that you can conjure up when you may be feeling down. It does feel good to laugh. You write so well, good at expressing yourself, so have you ever considered doing any writing for fun or profit?
Kathleen

Nicker07 10/10/2011

Thanks for all your thoughts. I refused to feel quilty over this, at one time in this process I would have, and did once when I smiled even a little. BUT this time I felt it was time, it was for me, and that it was time for me.

I sorta wondered how the locals there were feeling about it as we really really were cracking up over some guy doing funny things and cracking jokes.....BUT frankly only for a brief moment cared about what they thought.

It certainly takes time to get there that I can see - so I hope amongst all these trials and tribulations there will be more. I am trying not to be a worry wart.....sigh...

SO thanks for all your kind words and encouragement

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