This is my own feeble attempt to maybe throw a few pointers your way, kind of a road map if you will, of what this W/W discussion board should be about, and just maybe how to avoid a few landmines. So here goes.

This w/w site was my very first exposure to anything near a discussion a discussion board. And I didn't (nor do I) do Facebook, so I guess I could categorize myself as a dinosaur with pride. Shortly after my initial shock & awe passed and the real pain began, I stumbled in here at 3 months. Pretty weird putting our sh*t out there for all to see, total strangers. Thing is we all share a common bond, a bond unlike anyother, and let friendships become commonplace. At least nab you one. Things of a more sensitive matter are easier said between 2 people, friends, and that is a good tool to use. I know how important it was to me to be welcomed by people that just maybe understood. At some point in my healing process, I came to take notice of first posts, realizing how broken each and everyone one of us are when we get here, the place nobody wants to be. To me, it was at times sad to see that there was only 1 or 2 replies made by others to one of the newbie's first posts. When I saw that, I always made it a point to send a welcoming reply to them. I also tried to send all newbies at least some words, wrote as I was moved at the time. But that is tough to do, and most likely those having a talent for that kind of thing seem to rise to the top like the cream in those gallon glass milk delivery bottles from a local farmer on our front porch sitting all day in the hot rural Missourah sun. Seem no one ever got sick from food in those days. Awareness about botulism in home canning was about the extent of my food safety lessons back there in them days. That, and learning to smell your food before you ate or drank it. Duuuuh. Dang rabbit trail.

I don't know how long I tried to keep up with the first posts here, but the job always seemed to get done. There is healing in everything you write here. You will find remarkable recovery if you but purge whatever it might be that is important to you at the time. Like pain. Like, what the hell is going on with me. Like, I saw the sunrise for the first time today since crawling into my hole to die. Just be awar that most reach a point in the process where we can't remain very long in other people's rawness of grief. It tends to try to pull us back in, and that is when you need to take a step back from it. The longer you're here, the more likely it becomes that you will come and go in spurts, and eventually start watching from the sidelines by simply reading. That is how most of us get started to begin with. It is so hard to make that initial post. At least initially though, consider eating, drinking, breathing W/W. This was all I had to hang onto as I saw my world as I knew it dissintergrate before my very eyes.

Consider making this site part of your daily routine. It is here that I learned to type from my heart. My shattered and broken heart. I so encourage each of you to write about your grief, your emotions, your dreams, your questions, everything. If you are going through it, remarkable odds are that either someone else either has or is going through exactly the same thing. What a marvellous tool available toward your recovery.

If you want privacy in what you write, you can keep a journal here, at home, in the safe, or maybe even bury it in my backyard beside Lorenzo's gold (sorry, private family joke given birth in my wife's father's dimentia.) If you find yourself having no common sense or filter like me, you might not want to consider a few boundaries. But some of us reach a point where we don't give a rip what anyone else might think. You can use settings here to say who gets to read what. Replies are public, and a good place to not only relate and opinion on the issue presented, but more importantly a really good place to express yourself and whatever it is that you might be going through at the time. Hopefully, someday you'll get the nerve up to do your very first post if that's meant to be. In your replies, do your best not to "hijack" someone else's post and taking over the discussion. Consider doing a new post when it becomes all about you. I perhaps violated that secret rule a time or two, but it is a common sense courtesy to extend unless you oblivious to it like I was when I first got here. I hope to see that return here again, but it seems the predecessor site was somehow more welcoming to lively banter in the reply chain, an easier flow somehow. Lively discussions should be the norm here. They once were. 

Realize that replies to posts have the potential to be very near real time conversation here -- just posting public replies back and forth. It could become annoying to others, but I know no rule against it. Had some fun with that on a few occassions with my best friend here, anyway. But I's sure is glad I done did get me all growed up now. Today, you might just find such misbehavior bringing forth from me bulging eyes of fire and that look of disapproval only a mother has perfected to an art form. Seriously, we each carry within us the potential of just maybe overreacting a just little every now and then (okay, a lot all the time, like a tea pot forgotten on high). We are operating on pure raw emotions while at the same time we find ourselves drowning in our pain. Comes with the territory. Above all, seek peace. Not only here, but in all your life. And never ever intentionally hurt an already broken heart is a good rule of thumb to follow. If you don't like something, or disagree, no rule says you have to read it or reply to it. Try to do your best to give leeway and just look the other direction when necessary. Do your best to stay away from politics and religion. I've seen explosions in here on those subjects, and usually someone ends up getting hurt. You can talk about your faith all you want, but there are some Rules written about that here so leave your hammer of conversion buried with your top secret journal next to Lorenzo's gold. Use common sense about it, and try not to be like one of those two-by-two's that comes a knockin' on your door. But don't be afraid to be open about your faith either. After all what has kept those of us that have any to this very day, While my faith may not be your faith, your faith (or lack of it) carries no less meaning or importance than mine does to me. I came in here fresh off the pulpit having really having known my ministry bubble for a number of years. I had a period of reconditioning when I first arrived. After the obligatory cut a newbie a break, it seemed even my most common place phrases used multiple times by me in normal conversation seemed to ruffle somebody's feathers. Turns out, not everyone talks or thinks like that outside of the church world, and I hadn't learned yet the importance of blending into my environment outside of that circle. But I learned quickly to tone it way down. Oh, then there was the period that I got in the cross hairs of a wican/pagan.  And so did a number of others. Sadly, it ended badly for her. Be smart. Anybody bothers you about anything, just send a message to one of our CL's. Or file a formal complaint. Not a one of us needs any additional stress added to our struggles while here.

And always remember, there really are no rights or wrongs in here. Not a one of us knows what the we're doing, so consider yourself in good company.  W/W is available to you as, in my book anyway, one of your most important healing tools. If you don't want to read someone's posts or replies, I think they still have a block person option in here somewhere.

These are just some of the pointers I've picked up along the way, whether by osmosis or being hit over the head a few times. Old saying, but if hitting yourself on the head with a hammer keeps hurting, stop hitting yourself over the head with a hammer. A good definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result every time. A final thought, there is powerful healing in humor and laughter. Take a break from the solemnity of it all every now and then, even in here. It can take you out of your pain effectively, even if but for an instant. I learned to laugh at myself. Found myself to be a wealth of joke material when I made an adjustment in the perspective I took, tweeked with a nudge of imbellishment a time or two. As a new friend reminded me in her reply earlier today, We're all in this boat together folks. Not one is truly alone unless they chose to be. And we so need each other to get through this. ~~~ Scottie